Capitalizing on those initial feelings of infatuation and excitement often tends to blur out the bigger picture. Many relationships don’t last because the partners never get past the surface, or at least, they don’t plan for what would sustain the union beyond the initial thrills. It’s almost as if the word “new” comes with a feeling of excitement that overrides all rational thinking. It’s like starting a new project, feeling excited and pumped, but forgetting that this isn’t something you’re really passionate about. It’s not even a means to an end, and you’ll probably abandon it after a short while.
This analogy portrays the major problem with relationships today. When you meet someone new, they are perfect in every way… until they are not. No human being is 100% flawless, but you need to be certain that you can put up with this person’s imperfections. We often jump in headfirst without thinking about how it’s going to play in out a couple of years, or maybe even a decade.
The key driving force is not solely love, but a mixture of love, respect, mutual understanding, and most importantly, trust. Below are 11 helpful tips for long-lasting relationships. 
1. Don’t bear grudges
It’s easy to pick a fight and dish out malicious and unhealthy words, but getting out of it and trying to move on would often leave you with regrets. It’s not always easy to avoid getting into confrontations or arguments, but try not to let any malicious feelings linger for too long. They obstruct your view of the positive things about your partner and put a fatal strain on your relationship.
I want it to go my way, he wants it to go his way — what do we do? We find a common ground where both of us get what we want after letting up on some points. Two different people coming together to foster a relationship, no matter how many things they have in common, are most likely going to fall out at some point. Being mature enough to always find a middle ground will keep your relationship thriving for a long time.
3. Be honest and open with each other
The ice begins to crack the moment one person starts lying or keeping petty secrets. You should always be honest and transparent with your partner, and expect the same of them. If you two are going to stay together and grow with each other, you need to know that you can trust them to always come through with the truth.
4. Little displays of affection
These things matter! It’s nice to display simple gestures such as kissing, hugging, or pecking one another whenever you get together or are about to part ways. It makes your partner feel loved, cherished, and wanted, and you’ll feel the same way too.
5. Make time for each other
You don’t always have to string a group of people along to share your time with your partner. You two need time to spend alone together and groom your feelings for one another. It also allows you to understand this person better and get to know how their mind works. It doesn’t always have to be expensive dates or luxurious vacations. A walk in the park or a day out at the beach is as good as anything, as long as you two are focused solely on each other.
Also, keep your phones and devices aside when you are together. Those things destroy relationships faster than you could imagine. 
6. Check on each other
Isn’t it wonderful to get a ping on your phone in the middle of a busy day and it’s a message from your lover asking if you’re okay? It shows they are always thinking about you and that your welfare is important to them. Take out the time to check on them as well and it shouldn’t always be in replies to their messages. Make the first move sometimes.
7. Don’t be judgmental
It hurts differently when the person who is supposed to be your soulmate judges you along with others. While there’s nothing wrong with trying to help your partner be a better version of themselves, being too pushy or judgmental will only kill their spirits and make them resent you. They were who they were before they came into your life, so don’t try to change them or tailor their personalities to fit your fantasies. Love them the way they are and you two will stay happy for a long time.
8. Try new things together
… Just because it’s fun and a great way to enjoy each other’s company in different lights. You’d have so much fun experimenting with new things together. The world is one large adventure waiting to be explored, and it feels more exhilarating making these beautiful memories with your special person.
9. Laugh together
Laughter is one of the best mood boosters and stress relaxants, and of course, it’s completely free. It breeds positive emotions and shovels negativity. Watch amusing shows together on YouTube or Netflix, try weird activities together, or go watch a pack of monkeys being crazy at the zoo. Whatever sounds like fun and would give you two hearty doses of laughter, go for it.
10. Trust each other
Being with a person you cannot trust is a quick way to wear down your self-esteem and mental wellbeing. Trust is the foundation of every relationship and if it’s shaky, it’s only a matter of time before everything crumbles. You need to be someone you can trust not to hurt your feelings or break your heart, no matter how far apart you two are. Someone who would give you no reason to snoop around their phone or keep tabs on their activities. Trust is important and it’s a powerful driving force for every relationship. 
11. Leave them gifts and sweet notes
Again with the little displays of affection. These small gestures let your partner know how precious and loved they are. A loving good luck note on the fridge, a box of chocolates, flowers to their office, or a surprise lunch could make a world of difference
- “11 Things No One Tells You About Long-Term Relationships That You Need To Know.” Bustle. August 28, 2017.
- “The Danger of Phubbing: Choosing Your Phone Over Your Relationship Will Destroy It.” New York Times. Lesley Alderman.May 2, 2017.
- “8 Ways to Keep Your Long-Term Relationship Strong.” Her Campus. Logan Nelson. December 20, 2016.