Truth be told, there are no manuals to this relationship thing.
What works for couple A could tear couple B apart. That’s the thing about individuality. Our differences make it difficult to form a pattern or a set of standards for human interaction. However, when it comes to relationships, marriages, and companionships, some values apply to everyone despite their unique beliefs. There are also a few attitudes certain to destroy any relationship in record time, or at the very least, make it a painful, bitter, and unfulfilling one.
If you’re in a relationship for the long-haul, our guess is, you do not want to do things that would put a strain on the union. Love isn’t always a bed of roses, although it doesn’t have to be a bed of thorns either. It requires work and commitment but you should always feel happy, loved, wanted, and comfortable with this person.
Below are six major attitudes to avoid putting up if you want your relationship to last long and stay happy.
Infidelity and jealousy
Working our way down from top to bottom, infidelity has got to be the cherry on the cake. No one ever deserves to be cheated on and you should never make an excuse for this wicked act. Most people will run for the hills when they notice signs of unfaithfulness from their partner. This is the right thing to do to protect oneself from the psychological and physical dangers that come from sticking with a cheating partner. Cheating is a quick way to throw your relationship away, and it sheds every ounce of dignity a person may have.
Also, no one wants to be in a relationship and feel stifled or suffocated by the actions of a jealous partner. Being jealous or over-possessive simply means you don’t trust your partner and this never bodes well for any relationship. Preventing your partner from talking to members of the opposite sex, isolating them from friends and family, and trying to monitor all their activities is a surefire way to flash them the red lights.
Compatibility issues
Not every so-called wise saying is actually wise. We often hear that “opposites attract,” but most of the time, when people with different values, views, beliefs, and ideologies come together as a couple, it turns out to be a match made in hell. They are going to quarrel a lot and at some point, someone may start feeling subdued or disrespected.
While it’s always best to be with people who you share similarities with, you can also be happy with someone whose opinions differ from yours. You just have to learn to respect them and find a middle ground where you can meet each other halfway.
Abuse
Abusive behavior is one of the top deal breakers in a relationship. There’s literally no moving on with someone who feels it’s okay to put their hands on you, force themselves on you, emotionally blackmail or manipulate you, and someone who has no trouble with verbally running you down. Everyone deserves better than that. Abusive behavior cuts across all genders, and so it’s not just the males. Females can be abusive too, in every way, and this is extremely unfair.
You should always try to get in front of the situation if someone is reducing your worth by abusing you. You can always speak to a therapist or a counselor, and if things get dangerously physical, you should call in the authorities and leave that relationship for your own good. You deserve to be loved and treated like a jewel. Abuse is never anyone’s fault, except that of the abuser.
Misplaced priorities
It’s unfair to start a relationship with someone and leave them feeling unwanted. If you know you’re not always going to be present, it’s best to tell them at the beginning so you can lay out a plan together. Let them know what they are signing up for, and also how much you want to be with them as much as you can.
If your priorities appear to lie with other things, somewhere or someone else, your partner’s bound to start feeling unimportant, and neglect would become a good reason to move on.
Trust issues
Trust is a fickle thing and once broken, it would never return to the same state again. When a person has been hurt or lied to by several other people, they tend to develop trust issues that make it impossible to move forward with others in the future, some of who might actually be genuine and reliable. It’s classic human nature to try to defend ourselves from getting hurt again, but distrust can be paralyzing as well.
It may never go away completely, but you can allay a lot of your fears by communicating openly with your partner. Get to know each other on a deeper level to understand your priorities, strengths, and weaknesses, and be each other’s character motivator. [2]
Communication
Ever wondered why people are so afraid of long-distance relationships? That’s right, communication. Most people are simply terrified of how things would play out when their partner is thousands of miles away and they can only rely on virtual interfaces to keep in touch. However, a couple that truly loves each other would make things work and remain happy despite the distance.
Even when you live in the same house or work in the same area, communication can still be a problem. It’s not merely about not talking regularly, but it’s also about saying the wrong kind of things and speaking to your partner in an inappropriate manner.
Try to understand how your partner’s mind works and if there’s something you figure would upset them, try not to joke about it. Be courteous and sensitive to their feelings, and speak to them with respect. This doesn’t mean you both cannot share good humor, but humor is a tricky concept and the line between good and bad is too thin. So, to keep your relationship happy and exciting, you have to learn to talk to your special person openly, freely, and heartily, but also with the respect they deserve.
References
- “How Does Infidelity Affect Your Health? Cheating Victims At Higher Risk For Mental And Physical Problems.” Medical Daily. Dana Dovey. Retrieved June 20, 2020.
- “The 5 Quickest Ways to Kill Your Relationship.” Psychology Today. Kira Asatryan. Retrieved June 20, 2020.
- “How to Get Out of an Abusive Relationship.” Help Guide. Retrieved June 20, 2020.