Some might think that new parents see work as an opportunity to ‘escape’ from the baby for a bit. On the contrary, most new parents – dads inclusive, miss their little bundles of joy terribly when at work.
Now, what about said burden of joy, do they also miss their parents? They truly do, at least the ones in this cute story do.
The Van Cuties
The ‘Van Cuties’ as they are often referred to on social media are 8-year-old Anabel and Lydia. The twin sisters are the stars of their mothers’ YouTube channel.
Their mother, Maritza Van Cott, has a YouTube channel – ‘Maritza and the Van Cuties’, with over 19,000 subscribers. She posts a ton of videos about the girls, documenting their lives and antics.
On February 11, 2010, the girls were just seven months old, but they went viral with over 7 million views after a video of them was posted online [2].
Daddy’s home!!
The video was titled ‘Daddy’s home’ and showed the girls’ excitement to the moment their father Chris Van Cott – singer, songwriter, and producer, got home from work.
At first, the girls were playing with their toys and seemed not to have a care in the world. But then, they heard the door open and their faces broke out in huge smiles. Maritza shouted ‘Daddy’s home’ and the girls’ smiles only got wider.
Next thing you know, they’re bouncing up and down, clapping their hands excitedly. There’s only so much you can do not to mirror their exact emotions at that time.
Their mum and dad couldn’t have been happier than they were at that moment.
Did the girls recognize their father or were they excited for another reason?
It is quite a valid question. Not many people would think that babies of that age would be able to recognize their fathers. However, research has shown that they can.
Researchers at the University of Sheffield in England found that 6-month-olds can pick out individual faces within a group better than adults [4].
What about younger babies?
For starters, babies often recognize their mothers first. And that’s not at all surprising. They do spend a ton of time with their mothers.
As for their fathers, this takes a little more time depending on how often they get to see them. Generally, studies show that babies can recognize their fathers’ voices from the womb as from 32 weeks gestation.
This is possible because as from 16 weeks gestation, they can hear sounds, so if a father seizes that window of opportunity to talk and sing to them, their voices would most likely become embedded in the babies’ memories.
As for facial recognition, that will take a bit of time. Anywhere from the first few weeks to two months is the consensus in the scientific community [5].
There is another factor to consider here
And that is the distance babies can see. When they are first born, babies can only see about 8 to 12 inches in front of them. This distance is ideal for studying faces up close.
So, if parents spend enough time holding their babies and letting them look into their faces, then, in a couple of months – 8 months tops, babies can identify their parents from across the room [6].
Separation anxiety in babies
You know how babies cry the minute their mom drops them and tries to leave the room? Yeah, that’s pretty much what separation anxiety in babies mean.
Officially, it’s a “developmental milestone that occurs in most babies between 6-7 months of age when they gain a sense of object permanence.” This is a much fancier explanation of the same thing.
If you’re a bit confused, object permanence simply refers to the ability of a baby to know that people and objects exist, regardless of whether they are present at that moment.
According to expert and sleep consultant, Brooke Nalle, “Before object permanence kicks in, you can put your child in the crib, walk away and if they cry it’s not necessarily because they miss you. This is a big milestone because now babies start to sense that when Mommy walks away, she’s sometimes gone for a long time, sometimes for five minutes.”
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s quite special to know that your child misses you. However, it can be a bit frustrating, but you just have to remember that it is a transition moment and once they know they are safe and happy wherever they are, they will ‘get over it’.
What to do about separation anxiety
There isn’t much you can do to stop it, however, you can do a couple of things to make it easier on you and your baby.
1.Show some tough love
These babies might be tiny, but they sure know when you’re not being strict. Therefore, if you say goodbye and kiss them goodbye, you should leave and not come running back even if they start to cry. If you do, they will know that tears are your weakness and will most likely keep on using it.
2. Do not sneak out
This will only confuse your baby because they had no clue you were going anywhere and next thing you’ve disappeared. Just come clean and try to make them understand, or at least see, that you’re about to go out.
3. Keep in mind that there should be a period of adjustment
And be sure to use it well. Try not to force the ‘separation’ on them as this could end up being counterproductive.
4. Give them ‘something to remember you by’
This isn’t nearly as dramatic as it sounds. It’s just a known fact that your smell can be comforting to your baby. Thus, you should give them something that smells like you to help them deal with the anxiety.
5. Keep their environment happy
Make sure that they associate their cribs with a lot of happy memories of you and them. Also, keep the toys they love in their crib so they can be distracted and at the same time happy.
6. Try to reign in your emotions
Babies mirror their parents’ behaviors and emotions. Chances are if you start bawling out your eyes every time you go out, they are just going to follow suit. So, keep a check on that [7].
It is important to acknowledge your emotions, especially as a new parent. However, the most important thing to note is to take one day at a time. All the hard times will be worth it when you see a smile across your little one’s face. Eventually, you will get the hang of this ‘parenting thing’.
Heck, you might even ‘rock’ at it. Cheers to all loving parents and their precious bundles of joy out there.
References
- “Daddy’s Home!!” YouTube. Maritza and the VanCuties. Accessed April 6, 2020.
- “6 Things You May Not Know Your Baby Can Do.” Parents. Leslie Garisto Pfaff. Accessed April 6, 2020.
- “When Does A Baby Recognize Their Father?” Romper. Olivia Youngs. Accessed April 6, 2020.
- “When will my baby recognize me?” Baby Center. Darienne Hosley Stewart. Accessed April 6, 2020.
- “Separation Anxiety In Babies: What You Need To Know.” Nanit. Diana Aydin. Accessed April 6, 2020.