Ask anyone who’s ever dated an unmistakable narcissist before.
When the relationship finally ends, you’d feel as though you’ve been liberated, set free from the horrifying mental chains that depleted your energy and joy. Narcissists feed off other people’s emotional security and self-love, endlessly seeking approval and worship from everyone they encounter.
Most times, people don’t know how to break things off with narcissists because they mix in a little sweetness with the evil behavior. While buttering you up with gifts and sweet words, they’ll be channeling all your time and focus to themselves. They’ll manipulate you into living however they desire and doing their bidding while thinking you’re in love. Narcissists are incapable of loving or caring about other people, and expecting commitment from them is simply self-sabotage. [1] They are natural gaslighters who thrive on other people’s adulation. [2]
Breaking it off with a narcissist is one of the best things that could happen to anyone unlucky enough to have dated one. Sadly, it may cause you to become terrified of opening up to other people or even dating again. However, you’ve got to keep an open mind. When you deny yourself love and companionship forever, the narcissist still has a hold over you. You should never let anyone control your life and emotions.
Here are 8 things to expect when you finally meet an amazing person after getting away from a narcissist: [3]
1. No more mind games
You can finally relax and step out of your protective shell when talking to your partner. While dating a narcissist, you must have come up with some defense mechanism to protect yourself from their incessant mind games. You never related comfortably with them because you were always scared that everything would turn out to be one huge, selfish joke. This time, it will be different. You can be certain this person does not want to hurt you and is always completely honest.
2. They are with you for the real you
Being with a good person makes you acknowledge your worth and how priceless you are. Narcissists date people because of possible benefits. However, the right person would let you know how much you’re wanted, loved, and desired just because of who you are. You’d feel it from the start. You’d hear it in their voice and see it in their eyes. They love everything about you and you’d never feel the need to try to be someone else to make them happy.
3. They’ll shower you with love and attention
You’d finally become the center of someone’s world and not just the other way round. They’d treat you with decency and respect, always showing you how grateful they are to have a place in your life. They’d never use words that would bring you down, even when correcting you. All they want is to see you flourish happily, and you’d finally be getting all the support and love you deserve.
4. They listen to you
Even when they don’t have anything to say, having someone intently and genuinely listening while you pour your heart out is so underrated. It makes you feel alive and important to be heard. Your narcissistic ex probably just cut you off all the time to talk about themselves, but things are going to be different now.
5. You can finally trust someone
Trust is a two-way thing and you can’t be the only one giving. You may battle with trust issues for a while after breaking up with a narcissist, but at some point, you’d have to let this awesome person prove their loyalty. They are not like the ones who always gave you a reason to doubt them. They are different because they truly love and respect you. It’ll take some time to get used to it, but you’ll eventually feel the amazing rush of having someone you can confidently share your life with.
6. They’ll give you all of them
There’s no pretense with this person, no secrets, no lies, and no omissions. They’ll give you everything and more if you let them. There’d be no walking on eggshells because you’re afraid of what’s lurking around the corner. This time, you’d enjoy a relationship with someone who has no wicked motives to hide. All they want in return is the same courtesy from you, and you deserve to ease up a little from those mental restraints.
7. They apologize when they are wrong
Part of what makes narcissists so difficult to relate with is their inability to accept a fault and admit it when they are wrong. They end up relentlessly lying, twisting, manipulating, and maneuvering until the blame is pinned on someone else. It’s impossible to get them to apologize unless they’d gain something from doing it.
Well, that era of your life has come to an end. This new person won’t be perfect, and they may occasionally make mistakes. However, they know how to apologize genuinely the moment they discover they’ve messed up. They own up to their shortcomings and admit it when they are wrong. They don’t try to pin blames on anyone else and would always try to atone for their mistakes.
8. They’ll show you true love
No matter how you occasionally felt, that narcissistic ex never truly loved you. This new person would show you what genuine love is, and it’s more than just nice dates, intimacy, gifts, cute messages, and frequent calls. While these things matter, true love lies in unwavering trust, emotional support, care, a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, a non-judgmental character, all in someone proud to have you in their lives.
References
- “Narcissistic Parents Are Literally Incapable Of Loving Their Children.” Scary Mommy. Joanna McClanahan. Retrieved September 8, 2020.
- “These 8 Things Will Happen When You Finally Meet A Good Person After Dating A Narcissist.” iHeart Intelligence. Kristina Ivanova. Retrieved September 8, 2020.
- “How to survive gaslighting: when manipulation erases your reality.” The Guardian. Ariel Leve. Retrieved September 8, 2020.