Lone wolf, loner, solitary animal, introvert… These are some of the terms bestowed upon people who like to keep to themselves. These people are perhaps some of the most misunderstood since they don’t often let people in, and their habit of spending time alone tends to give people the wrong impression about them.
Loners — otherwise known as ‘the crazy cat lady down the street’
‘Lady’ here is simply generic. People see both men and women in that light as long as they are loners. Perhaps it’s because three-quarters of the population is made up of extroverts. So, when they see people who do not enjoy socializing as much, they fail to understand that it is simply their choice.
Loners aren’t simply the opposite of extroverts
It runs deeper than just a desire to be alone at the moment. Their dislike for socializing is so strong that forcing them would only end up draining them physically and mentally. Most loners can comfortably exist within the confines of their minds for hours on end. [1]
Unfortunately, in typical ‘human beings’ fashion, people have come up with stereotypes about loners. These stereotypes are not only incorrect, but also reek of ignorance on the part of the people who assume them.
Here are a few of the most popular ones
1.Loners are ‘shy’
‘Shy’ is putting it lightly. When they say shy, they mean the person is showing classical signs of having an inferiority complex. However, they conveniently forget that some extroverts are genuinely shy.
2. Loners are unable to socialize with others
Regardless of their quiet nature, if a loner has a job to do that requires relating with others, they will be as professional as is necessary to get the job done. That shows how moot the point of loners having poor P.R skills is.
3. They are snobs
Of course they will be branded as snobs simply because they don’t want to attend a party or go clubbing with other people.
4. They haven’t had a taste of the ‘good life’ yet
This is a rather condescending one because people think that the only reason someone is a loner is because they haven’t had the opportunity to go ‘wild’ and explore a different side of themselves.
5. They are nuts
It’s very easy for people to attribute the desire to be alone as a symptom of a mental condition, probably depression.
A little more open-mindedness on the side of those people who misunderstand the loners will be greatly appreciated. Surprisingly, studies have shown that being a loner has several benefits.
For starters, a study by Allen J. Moore and Nathan Bailey, both PhD holders from the University of Georgia and St. Andrews University in Scotland respectively, show that being a loner is highly beneficial to some species. According to them, social isolation can be a powerful force that could shape genetics and behavior. [2]
Also, it’s often said that loneliness comes with a risk of premature death similar to that caused by diabetes. However, these facts were gotten from instances of extreme social isolation.
The loners in view here are those who CHOOSE to be so. This act has been found to improve creativity as these people can reach into the depths of their mind in their solitude and find their ‘mojo.’
Then, there’s the issue of improved focus which is often seen in introverts. Because of how quiet they are, they tend to listen more and pick out the necessary things they need. [3]
Finally, a study of various personalities of people revealed interesting results. The studies ‘Fear of Being Single’ and ‘Desire for Being a Loner’ included a wide variety of participants.
The studies measured the ‘big five’ personality traits of the subjects under the headings: neurotic, open, extroverted, agreeable, and conscientious. At the end of the study, they found that people who like spending time alone are not likely to be neurotic and were more agreeable, open, and conscientious than others. [4]
Characteristics of a loner
At this point, you probably know these traits won’t include ‘how will loners love to stay under the bed just to get away from others.’
Here are 6 actual traits that most loners possess
1. They have clear-cut boundaries
This gives them control of their personal space. People around them know better than to cross these boundaries as they are likely to protect them fiercely.
2. Loners are calm in most situations
This could be because of how level-headed they are. Spending a lot of time in a quiet place puts them in the frame of mind needed to make rational decisions.
3. They keep to time
They don’t just keep to time, but also they respect it. They are aware of how valuable time is and go out of their way not to waste it. Every moment is often regarded as a gift by them, and they treat it as such.
4. They are accepting of others
They realize that most people might have misconceptions about them. They know how annoying it can be when people judge you based on an innocent personality trait you have. Thus, they try not to be that way towards other people.
5. They are open-minded
They know there is always more to people than meets the eye. Therefore, they are often patient and observant. They simply keep quiet and give people a chance to show the stuff they are made of.
6. They have a high self-esteem
Their sense of self is top-notch. This is because they are used to spending time alone. They don’t need any form of validation from people as their opinion is more than enough for them.
That said, being a loner is not synonymous with loneliness. Loners are simply people who have chosen to not always be amid all the bustles and craziness of society. Irrespective of that, they are still very much well-adjusted and happy people.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of this website or its members. The information contained in this article and the presentation of material therein do not imply the expression of any opinion whatsoever on the part of this website.
References:
- “Field Guide to the Loner: The Real Insiders.” Psychology Today. Elizabeth Svoboda. June 9, 2016.
- “LONER STUDY REVEALS THE BIOLOGICAL REASON ISOLATION ISN’T ALWAYS A PROBLEM.” Inverse. Emma Betuel. Accessed February 17, 2020.
- “Why being a loner may be good for your health.” BBC. Christine Ro. February 28, 2018.
- “The Badass Personalities of People Who Like Being Alone. Psychology Today. Bella DePaulo.