At some point in our lives, we are going to cross paths with people who are meant to teach us lessons.
At first, they’d seem like bad decisions and costly mistakes, but a positive attitude would be to regard them as lessons well-learned. They came into your life to teach you just how much you deserve better, and to make you promise never to settle for less ever again.
So, instead of hating your ex and sending exhaustingly negative vibes toward them, thank them instead. They may have hurt you in painful ways but they opened your eyes to what you truly deserve. You deserve love, kindness, compassion, all in someone who would look at you and feel the same energy you feel for them. In simple terms, a person who values who and always lets you know how precious you are to them, and even if you haven’t found them yet, you know exactly what to look out for.
This isn’t about setting your standards unreasonably high. It’s simply saving yourself from unnecessary heartaches in the future. If you’ve ever been in a toxic relationship and finally regained your freedom, you’d understand how important it is to not rush into relationships because you are afraid of being single. Instead of feeling bad that your friends are all married or in serious relationships, you should be happy and thankful that you wouldn’t end up building a home with a person who would only steal your joy and tear you down.
There’s nothing as liberating as getting out of a toxic relationship, and the idea that being single is sad is merely a silly social construct. Even science says that single people are often happier. [1] You deserve better than a person who makes it a point of duty to hurt you, so take your time to heal and try to enjoy your life, now that you know what you truly deserve.
It’s time to focus on yourself and reconstruct your dreams.
If you ever dated a person with narcissistic tendencies, chances are, you unknowingly re-aligned your plans for the future to fit into theirs. That’s the whole point of narcissism. They have such an inflated sense of self-importance and everyone around them must defer to their wishes. This controlling behavior is so unfair and irritating that you’d feel your dreams slowly crumbling away.
This person would gaslight you so expertly that you’d begin to doubt everything you once believed in. They’d isolate you from your family and friends and leave you solely dependent on them for support. This is no way to be in a relationship. It’s straight-up mental slavery, and you deserve so much better.
It’s time to reinvent your ideas and build up your plans again. This time, do things for YOU. You’ve had enough of someone controlling your life and forcing you to live according to the fantasies. It’s time for you to be your own person and accomplish those goals you threw away.
You’re back on your feet now, so don’t be mad at them. Instead, be grateful
They may have cheated, lied, made your life miserable, abused you, and manipulated you, but you are the better person because you’re going to walk away from all that with lessons and zero hate. You don’t have to love them or be friends with them, but hate is draining and crippling and you’re on the path to shedding all that negativity.
Dear ex, thank you for letting me realize how much I’d been downplaying myself all this time.
They were disrespectful, treated you like you weren’t worth it, and all this time you let them. You became convinced that it was all your fault, and that you deserved their belittling behavior. They made you bend your life and put your dreams on hold to be a part of theirs, and although you may have lost some time, it’s never too late to pick up the pieces and get back on track.
Well, they taught you so much, and you’ve learned. Now it’s time to square your shoulders, hold your head high, and move on.
When you are ready to be with someone else, an upgrade doesn’t have anything to do with looks, riches, or social status. An upgrade is meeting someone who treats you with dignity, love, respect, admiration, and kindness. Someone who values you and is elated to be a part of your life. Someone who thinks the world of you and holds you in high esteem.
When that special person comes around, you’ll always be grateful that ex pushed you away, otherwise, you’d have continued suffering and would never have found your true love.
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References
- “Some Single People are Happy on Their Own, Research Finds.” Science Daily. Retrieved June 19, 2020.
- “11 Signs You Should Probably Consider Being Single For A While.” Bustle. Teresa Newsome. Retrieved June 19, 2020.