Here’s Why Old Souls Have A Hard Time Finding Love

Here’s Why Old Souls Have A Hard Time Finding Love

Do you find yourself unable to relate people your own age, or find meaning in what they consider to be fun or important? You may feel out of place because you’re an old soul. This may be the reason you’re having a hard time finding true love.

If you have a wealth of wisdom you can’t explain and a feeling you’ve done it all before, you may be an old soul and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Old souls think differently, they have a greater appreciation and understanding of things that are easily dismissed by others their own age. They are often wise beyond their years and have different tastes in things that are not mainstream.[1]

However, this ‘higher’ intelligence comes with certain drawbacks. If you’ve ever been called an old soul, you’ll understand just how hard it can be to find love in today’s world where the majority of the people are looking for love to overcome their loneliness. With wisdom comes the understanding that you deserve so much more.

In the words of Shweta Advani on The Minds Journal:

“Old souls look for relationships that are healthy and not toxic, free and not binding, supportive and not smothering. We look for passion, authenticity, true love, sincerity, and depth in relationships. We want to connect with someone on all levels: emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual.”

Some reasons why old souls struggle to find or keep love:

1. They have a strong sense of self

Old souls know exactly who they are, meaning it’s difficult for them to settle for less. They know exactly what they want or do not want in a future relationship partner, as well as what works for them and what doesn’t. So, even though they choose their partners wisely, the number of people they’re able to select from is limited.[2]

2. They want something different

Old souls desire a relationship where they can enjoy mutual authenticity and vulnerability with their loved one. They don’t just want to have the same interests and hobbies with someone; they want to be loved for who they are and not just for their shiny parts. This is because they know it is only through vulnerability and authenticity they can achieve unconditional love.[3]

3. They are natural healers

Old souls are wired to see the best in everyone since they are natural healers. Therefore, they tend to attract people who need help and guidance. However, this need to be a fixer 24/7 is unhealthy when they are unable to stop offering their love and support as much as they can. When it comes to relationships, they should choose people who are on the same path as them and who are willing to take responsibility for their own development.

4. They tend to overthink

Old souls are critical thinkers who have a tendency to overanalyze. This makes them excessively sensitive and emotional, causing them to worry about each and every little thing. This capacity to worry and make assumptions can destroy relationships that don’t have a perfectly strong foundation.

5. They want a partner that challenges them

Old souls are always evolving and this makes them want to be with someone who is equally interested in growth and self-development. Rather than looking for someone that makes them feel less lonely, they want someone who is willing to grow with them and challenge them to achieve more by providing genuine feedback, support, and love.[4]

6. They often have a greater purpose

Old souls are always trying to achieve their dreams and these must be attended to before they can fall in love, since a relationship would distract them. They plan to accomplish quite a bit on their own before they find love. Old souls want their significant other to have the very best of everything because they love deeply, and completely. Opening themselves to love too soon would keep them from other important things they want to do.

7. They refuse to settle for anything less

Old souls have been exposed to surface-level, “average” relationships and they know that they deserve a lot more. They require the unique kind of soulmate love. This refusal to settle means that they sometimes have to bite the bullet and be alone for longer than what is considered “average” as well.[5]

8. They have scars

Old souls have been through some difficult life situations and these experiences have helped them mature and develop their deep, inner wisdom. Therefore, they look for someone who is patient enough to understand their journey and doesn’t get scared of seeing their scars.


  1. “Old soul”, Urban Dictionary.
  2. “12 Reasons Why Old Souls Have The Hardest Time Finding Love”, APost.
  3. “12 Reasons Why Old Souls Have a Hard Time Finding True Love”, The Minds Journal. August, 2018.
  4. “12 Reasons Why Old Souls Have Such a Hard Time Finding Love”, Educate Inspire Change.
  5. “12 Reasons Why Old Souls Have Such A Hard Time Finding Love”, Thought Catalog. July, 2019