How to Find Yourself through Your Perception of Others
We often hear people say, “My attitude to you depends on your attitude to me.” In other words, if you think I behave a certain way, good or bad, it’s probably because you channel the character toward me. This is why different persons in your life would have widely different perceptions about you, so much that an outsider might doubt they are all describing the same person. To one person, you may be kind, sweet, outgoing, and caring, and to another, you are rude, arrogant, and annoyingly reclusive. What we don’t often know is that these opinions are reflections of the other person’s character. People observe what they give out themselves, an unconscious perception that holds the key to true self-awareness.
According to British entrepreneur, Simon Fuller, “What angers us in another person is more often than not an unhealed aspect of ourselves. If we had already resolved that particular issue, we would not be irritated by its reflection back to us.”
To understand ourselves at a deeper level, we need to carefully consider our opinions of others and our reactions to their attitudes. You can’t conclude that someone is jealous or envious of you if you have never felt the same emotions before. You can’t tag someone as arrogant if you haven’t also been haughty at some point in your life. You won’t find a reason to utterly dislike someone you barely know if you haven’t also given a stranger a reason to dislike you on sight.
In other words, we perceive what we reflect, and it should help us adjust our characters and set our attitudes on the right track.
People can always change for the better
Carl Jung said, “We meet ourselves time and time again in a thousand disguises on the path of life.”
Honesty is a wonderful value that suddenly takes on an unwelcoming look when we have to practice it with ourselves. It’s easy to call others out on their shortcomings, but when it’s time to bring ourselves to the court, it becomes nearly impossible.
You don’t ever have to judge yourself or declare your personality a good or bad one. However, when you feel strong negative emotions toward another person, you can start by seeing yourself as the problem. This may sound crude at first, but it simply implies that you have to screen yourself against your judgment of another person.
You may feel this way because unhealed scars exist within you, hence thwarting your perception of the world and others around you. Until you reach deep within yourself to resolve these issues and liberate your mind, you‘re always going to be nitpicking the shortcomings of others, and you’d never give them a chance to show their true nature.
Sometimes, this person might actually be as nasty as you’ve observed them to be, channeling the same character to everyone else. However, you’d land on a higher and more intense level of self-awareness when you can react neutrally or even positively to their transgressions.
It’s better to think of it this way. If you are kind, loving, and gentle with yourself, you would begin to see similar traits in others. If you learn to wear a positive disposition and seek out the good in yourself at all times, you’d become inclined to seek out the same values in others. We only see what we reflect, so let’s choose to reflect a good nature.
When we fix the relationship we have with ourselves, we would most certainly have better and more positive relationships with others.
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