I remember watching “Mrs. Doubtfire” as a kid and thinking Robin Williams’ character was the coolest dad ever, while Sally Field’s mom character seemed like such a buzzkill. Now, 30 years after the film’s release, I decided to revisit this family classic – and wow, my perspective has completely changed.
As a parent myself now, I suddenly find myself empathizing with Field’s character, Miranda, in ways my younger self never could have imagined. What once seemed like an uptight mom now appears to be a woman drowning in the invisible load of motherhood while dealing with an immature partner.
Let’s talk about Daniel (Williams) and his behavior throughout the film. His most significant deception forms the entire plot – he disguises himself as a 60-year-old British nanny named Mrs. Doubtfire to spend time with his kids after Miranda gets primary custody in their divorce. While his motivation is understandable – wanting to be with his children – the elaborate scheme reveals just how far he’ll go to avoid dealing with reality directly.
One of the most telling scenes happens early in the film. Miranda tells their son Chris he can’t have a birthday party because of his poor grades – a reasonable parenting decision. Daniel’s response? He throws an over-the-top house party complete with a petting zoo INSIDE their home. When Miranda rushes back after being alerted by a neighbor, she finds police outside and children literally swinging from chandeliers while Daniel dances on tables.
This scene perfectly encapsulates their dynamic: Miranda makes responsible parenting decisions while Daniel undermines her authority for the sake of being the “fun parent.” It’s no wonder she’s frustrated – she’s essentially raising four children instead of three.
Communication issues plague their relationship as well. Miranda admits she was initially attracted to Daniel’s humor, but he never wanted to engage in serious conversations. When she finally brings up divorce, his response is telling: “We’ll move, and hopefully our problems won’t follow us.” This joke in the face of a serious discussion demonstrates exactly why their marriage was failing.
Perhaps most troubling is how Daniel repeatedly puts their children in uncomfortable positions. He encourages them to keep secrets from their mother and forces them to choose sides. When Chris and his sister Lydia discover his Mrs. Doubtfire disguise, he makes them promise not to tell Miranda, creating an alliance against their mother. This pattern of behavior places unfair emotional burdens on children who shouldn’t be involved in adult conflicts.
Then there’s Daniel’s treatment of Stu, Miranda’s new boyfriend. While disguised as Mrs. Doubtfire, he makes crude comments about Stu’s anatomy and even puts pepper in his food despite knowing about his allergy – nearly killing him! While these scenes play for laughs, they reveal a disturbing willingness to endanger someone simply because they’re dating his ex-wife.
What’s truly remarkable about revisiting this film is realizing how much Miranda actually cares about her children’s happiness. After discovering Daniel’s deception, she could have justifiably limited his access to the kids. Instead, understanding how important their father is to them, she arranges for him to see them daily, even though the court only granted weekly supervised visits.
As a child viewer, I saw Miranda as the villain who broke up the fun and then broke up the family. Now I recognize her as a woman making difficult choices while carrying the weight of responsible parenting largely alone. She was trying to create stability for her children while married to someone who literally “brought a damn pony into the house.”
Sally Field’s portrayal of the invisible emotional labor of motherhood was something I couldn’t possibly understand as a child. Thirty years later, it’s crystal clear that she nailed the reality many parents face – being the responsible one isn’t glamorous or fun, but it’s what children need. And sometimes, that means being mistaken for the villain in your own story.