If You Love Them, Don’t Seek To Tame Them

If You Love Them, Don’t Seek To Tame Them

Love changes, and our priorities change along with it. A common theme in today’s relationships is customizing your ideal person. However, if you love someone and seek to tame them, you may destroy the very thing that made you fall in love in the first place.

Have you ever come across the saying, “If you love something, be prepared to let it go”? Love is a very fragile thing and increasingly precious to come across in today’s highly commercialized and fast-paced world. It is only natural for people to wish to maintain and grow any shred of love they find until it is something totally beautiful.

But frequently we end up holding on too tight to those we love, ruining what we seek to preserve. It is easy to turn a healthy relationship into a destructive one by treating your significant other less than how they deserve to be treated. Instead, your aim should be to love them genuinely and being willing to step out of your comfort zone when necessary.

A relationship is a mutual agreement to live, work, play, suffer, and grow together, and this shouldn’t be marred by the urge to dominate or influence. Above all, achieving this will require you to transcend your present limits, as well as giving them the attention that they really deserve — even if it puts you at a disadvantage. [1]

Give off the same energy you wish to receive

We don’t always get what we want, no matter how rich, powerful, or influential we might be. This is a fact of life. So, how does this affect our love life? Simple — you don’t always get the type or intensity of love you want, but this doesn’t have to be your fate forever. You can have the perfect relationship by understanding what you want and working patiently with your partner.

To achieve this:

You should love them right. Rather than turn simple annoyances into full-blown arguments, they can be used to show the depth of your love by choosing to work with them instead. You should strive to be aware of the elephant in the room at all times when it comes to your relationship. This awareness can keep your connection healthy.

Keep them whole. True attraction begins with an admiration of features your significant other possess which you have not found in anybody else. This can be their good looks, sense of independence, sense of humor, or wild nature. If you really love them, then try to keep them complete, as wild, daring, and beautiful as you met them. This will ensure that you keep seeing what attracted you to them in the first place. [2]

Treat them right. A lot of people in relationships grow to depend on their partners, even to the point where inconsiderate actions on their part can affect them in ways they don’t expect. How you treat your partner may determine how they see themselves; you can make them feel lost or make them shine. If you genuinely love them, you’ll be careful not to destroy them.

We are the total of our life experiences. It has been proven, time and time again, that we are the product of our environments. This means that an awkward or somewhat lackluster partner is a result of past experiences. They may have been destroyed before, making them wary of you or your motives. It is important not to let them down again, especially when they open up enough to grow beyond their past and give you a chance. [3]

Give them the best:

Try to be there for them, physically as well as emotionally. Emotional absence can be quite destructive in relationships. You may be present with them all day long and not actually be present. This can change the way they respond to you over time, turning a loved one into a person that’s nothing like who you fell in love with.

Endeavor to build them up. If you set aside your selfish interest and choose instead to work toward building up your love, your reward will be them doing the same for you. Similar to the law of karma — whatever effort you put in, they’ll put in double.


  1. If You Truly Love Her, Keep Her Wild, Beautiful and Complete! Do Not Destroy Her!“, Positive Thing Only.
  2. Codependent or Simply Dependent: What’s the Big Difference?“, Psychology Today. December 2014.
  3. If you Love her, Don’t Destroy Her“, Elephant Journal. January 2017.