It’s Better To Settle Down Late Than Settle Down With The Wrong Person

It’s Better To Settle Down Late Than Settle Down With The Wrong Person

The older you become, the more pressure to get married creeps up. It starts with an odd aunty or two remarking on your ringless finger. Before you know it, everyone and their mothers (and yours too) are on your neck, harrying you to get married. Sometimes, it pays to wait.

There is an unspoken agreement that it is ‘normal’ to settle down in your twenties with kids coming along by your thirtieth birthday. Unfortunately, not everyone can conform to this idea of finding the love of your life early, often while in college, and starting the rest of your life at a young age.

Sometimes, it pays to spend a bit of your youth playing the field until you get a feel for the marketplace before you try settling for the ‘right’ person. This is better than the alternative: committing to the wrong person while you are still young. There are some advantages to waiting rather than taking the plunge in your wild and often reckless youth.

It’s worthwhile to take the time to find yourself before attempting a lifelong commitment to the potentially wrong person. Being single isn’t a crime or a fault, so holding out for someone better can be sensible.

Instead, you can use this time to advance your career or, if you’re feeling adventurous, date the wrong people, and gain more experience with love. There is no rule that says you have to settle down in your twenties.

Pressure, pressure, pressure!

Most people won’t get why you choose to remain unhitched when everyone in your age group is starting to post pictures of their engagements and wedding dresses. This kind of social media feed is enough to make you question your sanity, but you should not feel like you are falling behind because you’re not doing the same things they are. Ultimately, the race is with yourself.

This is even truer if your only option is someone you don’t connect with, or worse. When it comes to matters of the heart, it’s better to do things right than quickly. When faced with choosing between being the last among your friends to get married or marrying the wrong person in order to fit in, you should always choose the former. [1]

You should always hold out for true happiness; it is better to settle down late than settling down with the wrong person.

Why you shouldn’t settle in a relationship

One of the most complicated, painful, and pervasive dilemmas many single women have to grapple with is whether it’s better to be alone or to settle for someone who isn’t “the right one.” If you’ve ever found yourself in this position, here are four reasons why you should consider holding out for true happiness.

1. The fear of ending up alone can result in bad choices

How often have you caught yourself thinking, “It will only get more difficult to find someone the older I get,” or “I may never find the love of my life.” As social animals, we are wired to seek intimate relationships. However, the fear of being alone can drive our romantic choices, force us to make poor decisions in our relationships, and may leave us depressed and vulnerable to abuse. [2]

2. Being single has its advantages

Single people are unburdened by the pressures of a relationship, leaving them better able to explore and find themselves. Studies show that single people are more likely to help out family, friends, and others who may ask for help. [3]

3. True love is worth waiting for

Although it may feel reassuring to settle down with someone safe, waiting for true love is worth it, even if you don’t find it. The odds say that there is a reasonable chance most people won’t find true love during their lifetime; however, when you finally find someone amazing, you’ll agree that the wait was more than worth it.

Reference:

  1. Settling Down Late Is Better Than Settling Down With The Wrong Person,” Thought Catalogue. October 2019.
  2. 4 Reasons Not to Settle in a Relationship,” Psychology Today. April 2014.
  3. Help to Family and Friends: Are There Gender Differences at Older Ages?,” NCBI. February 2011.
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