“It’s just a phase every teenager goes through; they will outgrow it…” This is perhaps the most common excuse people make for teenagers who are rude and disrespectful.
Well, not this woman. She called this unruly duo to order and it sure felt good.
All that this mother wanted was to spend quality time with her daughter
But no, that was too much to ask for, at least for this duo. When Rebecca Boyd took her 12-year-old daughter to watch Cinderella at the Tannehill Premiere Cinema 14 in Bessemer, Alabama, all she wanted was to spend time with her girl and do something nice for her.
It turns out her husband had just gotten laid off from his job and she knew they would have to tighten their belts soon just to stay afloat. However, her little girl deserved a treat before then and that movie was it.
Sadly, the teenagers sitting behind them didn’t let them enjoy the movie
The teenage girls were rather noisy and kept on kicking the seats in front of them. Rebecca turned and politely asked them to stop it several times, but they just wouldn’t stop.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, they were rude and dismissive to Rebecca each time she complained.
Much to Rebecca’s dismay, that was their attitude throughout the movie and it resulted in it being ruined for her and her daughter. Afterward, she spoke to them about how their behavior affected her and her daughter.
The teenagers’ older brother, who took them to the movie, relayed the news to their mother when they got home. [1]
Their mum was disappointed in them but she wasn’t about to let it go just like that. Keysha Smith Wood, the mother of the unruly 13-year-old girl and stepmother of her partner in crime felt bad about what had happened and wanted a chance to make things right.
She decided to use the power of social media to try and track Rebecca down. So, she went to Facebook and wrote a heart-touching epistle where she apologized profusely on behalf of her kids and promised that they would be punished for their behavior.
She said the girls would be made to write an apology letter and they would also pay for another movie for Rebecca and her daughter from their allowances.
The message was posted on Keysha’s page, the McAdory-McCalla Community News Facebook page, and the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office page. It garnered several likes, comments, and over 5,000 shares.
Eventually, it got to Rebecca. She reached out to Keysha and the two families settled their differences.
The experience and punishment had the desired effect on the teens
According to Keysha, “My girls are so mortified. They are humiliated. And, that’s okay because I told them, ‘You know what, you’re not going to do this again.’”
She was also very grateful to Rebecca and couldn’t help but praise her. “She’s the most gracious, kind and forgiving woman. I am so humbled by that, and I’ve been telling people the real hero of the story is her,” she said. “She took it upon herself to correct my girls and no one else around them did.”
A special bond and a happy ending
Guess it’s not just the movie in question (Cinderella) that had a happy ending. The two mums bonded due to their belief in old-fashioned parenting styles where children are not allowed to behave as they deem fit, but rather to be trained the right way.
Also, the girls have become good friends. The girls and their mothers now hang out from time to time. [2]
Why are teenagers so unruly nowadays?
‘Nowadays’ may not be entirely accurate. It seems the decline in morals exhibited by children began decades back.
A quote that is attributed to Socrates reads, “The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room…” [3]
This goes to show that the problem runs deeper than we could ever imagine. Different people have attributed this behavior to various reasons, from the advent of social media to the culture of the nation.
The massive amount of time teens spend on their phone certainly has a big effect on them. According to Catherine Steiner-Adair, author and Cambridge-based psychologist, “There are social skills parents want to cultivate that technology can disrupt. Kids are interrupting more and showing decreased tolerance for frustration in ordinary exchanges because their brain is used to instant gratification.”
Also, it doesn’t help that many of the people they see on social media influence them negatively, thus, contributing to their bad behaviors. [4]
Lastly, parents play a role in their kids’ rude behaviors. No parent wants to admit this but they do share in part of the blame.
A teacher’s union in the United Kingdom believes a lack of parental support to be a major cause of the lack of discipline in students. A survey of over 8,000 teachers showed that many of them felt “let down” by the lack of support from parents on their children’s behaviors.
“Teachers are not receiving the support they need from parents. Parents can’t simply ignore their responsibilities at the school gates,” said Chris Keates, British Trade Unionist. [5]
Hopefully, this has given an insight into why teens behave the way they do. Now, what can be done about the situation?
Here are a few things you can do to remedy the situation as a parent of a rude teenager
1.Be more than a parent
Understand that being a parent goes beyond giving birth to kids. It’s your responsibility to be a teacher and a coach to them. As the teacher, give them the necessary tools they need to function in the real world and be sure to coach them along the line. [6].
2. Accept that you do not have to be their best friends
You should be friendly with your kids so they can be comfortable around you. But do not overdo it or else they will take you for granted. Be authoritarian when necessary so they will respond to you better.
3. Do not tolerate their nonsense
In a bid to be the ‘cool dad or mom,’ don’t let teenagers get away with unacceptable behaviors at home. If they see there are no consequences for their actions, chances are they will do even worse. [7]
4. Do not mince words with them
If there are any expectations you have of them, be clear with it. Let your ‘no’ be your ‘no’ and make sure they understand that it is not debatable. If you are firm, they will see that you mean business and become mellow.
5. Acknowledge their efforts
If they behave nicely, then you should praise them. Positive reinforcement goes a long way in helping kids grow. They might just be acting out to get your attention, so, when they do well, show them that you acknowledge and appreciate them. [8]
What about other people’s kids? Can you discipline them?
Now, this is a dicey situation. Kids can be annoying at different places, in an airplane, at the movies, restaurants, playgrounds, and even when they come over to your house. However, punishing them might not go down well with their parents.
Here are a few things you can do about it.
For starters, tread lightly. Do not ever hit them as you might not like the consequences, and it’s not okay to hit children (or anyone else).
If they are visiting your house, then be sure to lay ground rules beforehand. Remember to discuss it with their parents as well.
If they’re being rude, talk to their parents about it so that next time, they can do better.
Finally, be patient with them, they are kids and probably don’t know any better [9].
Indeed, children, especially teenagers have rather sour attitudes. They will only change when we stop making excuses for them. Therefore, “No, teenagers will not always be teenagers. Rather, they will be held accountable for their actions.”
Every household should endeavor to train up their kids with high values so they will grow up and become well-adjusted adults.
References
- “Mom Asks Rude Teens To Be Quiet In Movie, Hears From Their Mother.” Tap Haps. Christy Pepple. Accessed April 2, 2020.
- “Mom asks rude teens to be quiet in movie theater – later, discovers parent is trying to track her down.” Newsner. Editor. Accessed April 2, 2020.
- “Quote.” Bartleby. Editor. Accessed April 2, 2020.
- “Why kids today are so rude — and why a little bad behavior might sometimes be a good thing.” Boston Globe. Nicole Graev Lipson. Accessed April 2, 2020.
- “Parents are ‘responsible for children’s bad behaviour’.” BBC. Editor. Accessed April 2, 2020.
- “Disrespectful Kids and Teens: 5 Rules to Help You Handle Their Behavior.” Empowering Parents. Janet Lehman. Accessed April 2, 2020.
- “5 Tips for the Parents of Teens Who Make Rudeness an Art.” Psychology Today. Suzanne Degges-White. Accessed April 2, 2020.
- “Narcissistic Children and Teens: Does Your Child Act Entitled? Empowering Parents. Janet Lehman. Accessed April 2, 2020.
- “Should You Discipline Other People’s Kids?” Parents. Logan Ward. Accessed April 2, 2020.