Fact check: You cannot give what you do not have.
You can’t treat other people positively if you don’t know how to treat yourself to the same emotions. You won’t do well channeling affectionate feelings toward someone else when you can’t even feel the same way about yourself. This may sound cliché, but trust me, you need to love yourself first before you can love anyone else. You need to see how amazing and awesome you are before you can see the good in other people.
It doesn’t matter what most people think, but believe this: there’s a very fine and conspicuous line between self-love and selfishness or narcissism. Loving yourself doesn’t make you a selfish narcissist. [1] Do you know what it makes you? A living, thriving and surviving human. Some people also assume that a person who spends a lot of time on their own is lonely. Seriously? There’s another fine line between being lonely and wanting some time all to yourself.
You have to start doing things for yourself. Start seeing yourself as a gorgeous jewel that deserves to be treated gently. You need to learn to forgive yourself when you falter. Don’t hate anything about you. Your insecurities are just that and they shouldn’t make you despise yourself — they are part of what makes you so special.
Self-love isn’t all about spa treats, shopping sprees, and exotic vacations, although these are part of the equation. Who doesn’t deserve some relaxation and luxury once in a while? However, the true meaning of self-love is being kind to yourself, and taking it easy on your heart. [2] You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself in your head, so you have to be gentle with your mind. What you say about yourself in the privacy of your heart matters, so you’ve got to make it good.
Self-love is extremely beneficial
Are you still doubting it? Especially when you’ve just broken free from a toxic relationship, it’s important to shed all the residual negativity that has built up inside you for so long. If you take stock of your past and present, you’d discover so many opportunities you missed because the toxicity was inhibiting your growth. It’s time to shake free from those chains and get to where you need to be.
Medically, loving yourself helps reduce the risk of mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. [3] You’d be boosting your self-esteem and shielding yourself from falling into a vicious cycle of chronic mental stress. People need to understand how important it is to think of yourself and feel positively enlivening feelings. It’s amazing, uplifting, and it’s what keeps you going during trying times.
Hey, genuinely smile at the amazing creature staring back at you when you look in the mirror. That person is awesome, strong, resilient, and that person is YOU. You are still here despite everything you may have gone through, so yes, you are strong!
Even if you are in a relationship, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking yourself out for dates. So start dating your gorgeous self
Trust me, self-dating is as magical as it gets. Whether you’re single, in a serious relationship, or even married, taking out the time to regularly do something for yourself is IMPORTANT!
You don’t have to spend so much to take yourself out. A simple breakfast alone at the coffee shop with your favorite scones and a good book would do. I show up at the movie theater alone all the time, and nobody’s ever prosecuted me for it. I love the popcorn, the unusually tasty soda, the chilled and dark ambiance, the comfortable environment, and I always choose movies that make me happy. I can spend an average of £15 ($18) and go home extremely happy and satisfied with myself.
Other times, it’s good to spoil yourself to the core. Spend those heavy bills once in a while and feel good about it. Take yourself shopping, book a two-day stay at an exotic resort with a view of the mountains and the most sparkling pool you’ve ever seen.
Treat yourself with lots of tenderness, care, and gentility because you deserve it. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for spending quality time with yourself. Instead, educate them on what they are missing out on. It’s wonderful to hang around the people we love and those who matter in our lives, but it’s also amazing to hang out with ourselves.
Learning to love yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give your soul.
References
- ” Loving Yourself Is Not Selfish. Thought Catalog. Racquel Manuel. Retrieved June 24, 2020.
- “What It Really Means to Love Yourself.” Psychology Today. John Amodeo Ph.D., MFT. Retrieved June 24, 2020.
- “Why self-love is important and how to cultivate it. Medical News Today. Ana Sandolu. Retrieved June 24, 2020.