With the coronavirus pandemic the world is currently facing, people have been reminded of just how fleeting our existence can be. This has perhaps reminded them why they should always show love to their loved ones.
If you’re going to learn anything from the self-quarantine and social distancing, let it be to always appreciate your loved ones
Not just appreciate them, but show them you love them whenever you can. Imagine the last time you hugged your daughter was before she left for school in another country, and now airports have been closed so you can’t even get to her.
Not to sound morbid, but ensure that every moment you spend with your loved one is memorable as it might well be the last you get.
It goes beyond saying “I love you”
It’s easy to blurt out those three words at the end of a phone call while watching a movie. The meaning has been diluted so much that anyone can say that without even meaning it. That said, you have to find other ways to show love to your loved ones.
Gary Chapman, author of the New York Times bestseller The Five Love Languages, described love as “a choice you make every day.”
In the book, he said there are five love languages, ways people express and receive love. They are Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Giving of Gifts.
Figure out which love language best speaks to your partner and be sure to practice that. Heck, you could just as easily do everything, but first, find out which they would appreciate the most.
Here are 10 ways to show love to your partner
1. Pay attention to them
Of all the gifts you could give your loved one, perhaps your time is the most expensive…priceless even.
Author Rick Warren said, “When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life you will never get back.” That shows just how valuable your time is, thus, spending it with your loved one is indeed a great way to show your love.
2. Listen to them
More than just hearing words coming out of their mouths, be sure to listen. Even when it’s not your favorite topic, still listen to them. And try to do a little more than nod.
Yes, the new dress Karen wore to the office doesn’t pique your interest, but still, you could ask a question or two to show your partner you are listening to them.
3. Anticipate their needs
Don’t sit around waiting till they ask you. You claim to love this person, the least you can do is take the initiative and do something nice. It doesn’t necessarily have to be some grand gesture, just something you know they will appreciate is fine.
4. Do not bear grudges
No one is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. As long as they are genuinely sorry and apologetic, you should try to forgive them. Also, do not keep reminding them about their shortcomings. If you claim to forgive someone, you should also try to forget about the past and move forward.
5. Through physical touch
The power of hugs and kisses cannot be overemphasized. It might be just a few seconds or minutes, but the feeling will be sure to put a smile on their faces. It also reminds them that they are not alone.
6. Be patient with them
Nothing puts people at ease like being around a patient person. This is as opposed to the stress and anxiety that comes with being around someone who keeps yelling at you to do something. Whoever said “patience is a virtue” couldn’t have said it any better.
7. Make compromises
The world goes beyond just your comfort. The comfort of those around you matters as well. Always endeavor to make reasonable compromises to accommodate your loved one’s needs.
8. Make them a priority
Everyone should have someone they matter to. If you are that someone to another person, then try to make them feel special and wanted. Place them above certain things in your life. Do this and watch them respond positively and favorably to you.
9. Don’t be too serious
Have a flexible sense of humor. If there is something that they might consider embarrassing, do not go out of your way to make fun of them or make them uncomfortable. But try to find ways to show them the humor in it and laugh WITH them.
10. Smile
Smile at them from across the room. Just like hugs and kisses, you don’t need to say a word when doing this. Just flash them a genuine smile and watch as their frustrations or sadness simply melt away. [1]
Of the above, ‘touch’ might just be the strongest
Most people tend to feel a great sense of satisfaction in a relationship with constant physical touch. This is because touch plays an important role in enhancing love.
Author, Tiffany Field wrote all about that in her book, Touch. According to her, touch is stronger than verbal and emotional contact. She believes it is very important for children’s development and the well-being of adults. Unfortunately, she acknowledges that in society today, people are touch-deprived. [2]
If you’re still in doubt, here are some scientific facts to support hugging
According to research, oxytocin, the love hormone, can be stimulated to flow in the body by a good hug. This, in turn, lowers your blood pressure or stress levels, and increases your happiness levels.
However, it has to be longer than a few seconds. At least 20 seconds of hugging should be able to give you all the benefits. So, if you are wont to give quick side hugs, then you have to do better than that.
Do not make excuses
More than the person you’re in a romantic relationship with, it is also pertinent that you spend time with your family and friends. You should also hug them as frequently as possible. Do not wait for Christmas, Hanukkah, or any other holiday.
If it’s just five minutes you have, you can send an email or put a call through to them. If you have a little more time, you could call them on Skype. Even if you don’t have the time, you can create it and go down for a visit. And when you do this, be sure to give everyone bear hugs.
All in all, physical touch is important in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. Heck, even a professional handshake speaks volumes.
In the words of Charles Dickens, “Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.”
References
- “25 Ways to Say “I Love You” Without Saying a Word.” HuffPost. Winifred Rilley. Accessed March 24, 2020.
- “Why a Lover’s Touch Is So Powerful.” Psychology Today. Aaron Ben-Zeév. Accessed March 24, 2020.