We all know that one woman who says she doesn’t need anyone else in her life, she’s doing just fine on her own. She may be a coworker, a best friend, maybe even a sister. She is rarely seen without a smile and she seems to weather life’s hardships with ease and grace. Career disappointments, another relationship that didn’t work out, challenging family members – she always seems to take them in stride and move forward completely unscathed.
This is the woman in our lives that we need to watch out for and check in on.
While it may appear on the outside that she is miss independent, living her best life, and is genuinely doing fine on her own, what you can’t see is the hurt on the inside.
She’s the one who always says that she doesn’t need anybody else, maybe in fact she prefers being alone. If she was telling the truth, however, she would tell you that she has been deeply hurt before and is now afraid to rely on anyone else. Maybe she was burned in love, dropped by her best friend, or rejected from her family. Either way, she has decided to hide that inner turmoil by putting on an outward display of carefree ease.
You’re hosting a party? She’s the one who arrives early, hostess gift in hand, offering to help set up. She’s also the one who will stay and help you clean up after without being asked. Her personality lights up the room, and her strong, take-care-of-business attitude leaves other women in awe of her. Many look up to her, want to be her.
When she goes home, however, she has to face those inner demons alone. No one expects that she is struggling, which is exactly what she set out to achieve. She has painted a facade of the perfect life in order to hide her pain from the world.
If you have a woman like this in your life, reach out to her. Try to get to know her on a deeper level. Open up to her about your inner struggles, and perhaps she will slowly begin to open up to you.
If you are that woman, know that you are not alone, and your burdens are not yours to bare in solitude. Find a confident or seek out a therapist who can help you work through some of the darker places in your heart and mind.
Everyone needs people. We all need friends, people who we care about and who love us back. It can be hard to trust others when you have been hurt or rejected in the past, but understand that these new people in your life are not those same people. Those who care about you want to help, so reach out.
Even the strongest of women still can’t go through life alone.