Independence is not merely about being able to provide for oneself and making decisions without external influence. It’s also about being able to set boundaries and knowing the parts of your life that are just nobody else’s business. You deserve to keep some aspects of your life private, and if people are expecting explanations, let them know how unwelcome their unsolicited opinions would be.
If you don’t want any advice or support, talking about these things would often make you compare yourself to societal expectations. There are some problems we should only talk about when we want to, not because we are expected to. No matter how close you are to a person, decency requires that they respect your personal boundaries and accept only what you share. You are an individual, your own person before you are anything else. [1]
Here are 6 things you don’t have to explain yourself over unless you truly want to share.
1. Your dreams and aspirations
Some people prefer not to talk about their dreams because others would find them too silly, childish, or practically impossible. Actually, you are not obliged to share your dreams and goals with anyone. If you dream of being more influential than Bill Gates or more famous than Beyoncé one day, hold onto your aspirations and when you do talk about them, don’t feel the need to explain yourself to anyone. If they are too small-minded to believe in you, your belief in yourself is all that truly matters.
2. Your religious or political views
The world is constantly in a state of anarchy today as a result of religious and political extremism. If people learned to be tolerant and respectful of one another’s religious and political views and inclinations, we would all co-exist better. However, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your preferred set of values. Follow the path you have chosen and don’t pay attention to people who can’t seem to mind theirs.
3. Being single
This is often a tough hurdle to jump in today’s twisted society. People are expected to go straight from home, to college, and into marriage. Even being too long without a relationship would get people talking. It’s unfair, annoying, and archaic because even science says that single people tend to be happier. If you choose to be single at any point in your life, go for it. You don’t have to explain why you need a bit of peace and alone time to anyone. [2]
4. Not having children
It’s wrong to pry into a person’s business so deeply that you’d ask them when they plan to have kids or why they are not pregnant yet. This person may have a medical condition or financial constraints preventing them from moving ahead to make babies. Sometimes, they just don’t want to be parents at all. It’s their life, their choice. They don’t have to explain it to anyone, so resist the temptation to be a curious cat.
5. Your living situation
As a legal adult, no one has the right to question your choice to live alone, with friends, with roommates, or to remain with your parents at any age. People don’t understand the emotional, psychological, and financial troubles others go through, and it’s so easy to judge and question them about their conditions. Don’t let anyone make you uncomfortable by demanding an explanation. It’s none of their business.
6. Your physical appearance
Body-shaming is one of the worst social vices plaguing the world today, and it doesn’t only exist on social media. People are vile enough to question others about their physical appearances, not knowing how deeply each word cuts into the other person’s self-esteem. You owe nobody any explanation when they say things like, “Why are you gaining so much weight?” “You are far too thin, dear.” “What happened to your face? Your acne troubles are getting worse?” “Why in the world are you sporting a tattoo and blue-colored hair?” [3]
You are your own person and it’s not against any law to go through a phase or be who you are. Enjoy every single moment of your life and never let something as insignificant as people’s opinions on your looks weigh you down.
References
- “27 Little Things You Absolutely Do Not Owe Anyone An Explanation For.” Thought Catalog. Kendra Syrdal, November 13, 2016.
- “IT’S BETTER TO BE SINGLE, ACCORDING TO SCIENCE.” Independent. Erin Brodwin. February 10, 2018.
- “Shame About Your Looks?” Psychology Today. Harriet Lerner Ph.D. May 23, 2010.