If you have just started dating someone new or you are entirely new to the whole dating scene, it might be a bit tough laying out the reasonable expectations you should have in the relationship. While relationships, especially ones with long-term goals are often subject to a lot of compromise from both partners, it’s important to know that there are things you have the right to expect. If these attributes are missing, then you’re not being fair to yourself sticking with that person.
While unrealistically high expectations can be quite destructive, we should never be afraid of looking out for the things that are truly essential to the workings of a functional relationship. We all want to be with people who will keep us happy, make us feel loved, and never give us a reason to feel dispensable. You want to be someone who would never think to emotionally or physically abuse you.
In the end, you have only one life to live and while you shouldn’t be unreasonable in your expectations of others, here are 10 important things you deserve to have in a relationship and you’re also required to give:
Trust
Any relationship without a strong foundation of trust is essentially headed nowhere. Sooner or later, jealousy, envy, insecurities, and over-possessiveness will cause someone to make an irreparable mistake. There’s no point in dating someone you can’t trust. Don’t be blinded by infatuation or their good qualities. If you cannot trust this person with fidelity, decency or your personal information, and they cannot trust you with theirs, it’s best not to get into it in the first place
Respect for your boundaries
No matter how much you love someone, your life does not revolve solely around that relationship. You’re still your own person and you deserve to have your space. A good relationship is one where the partners delight in each other’s lives but still respect one another’s boundaries. You have the right to attend your girls’ or guys’ night out and even go on vacation with your crew without your partner acting up unnecessarily.
You should feel wanted
This is not even a question of compromise. You deserve to be treated like a jewel, a precious treasure they couldn’t do without. Being in a relationship where you’re constantly struggling for the attention of your partner is a surefire way of reducing your worth.
You should be comfortable around them
This is one of the most important things to look out for. We all have insecurities and imperfections that keep us deeply conscious of ourselves around most other people. We deserve to be with someone who will kiss away all our insecurities and truly make us believe that we are perfect, even if not to the rest of the world, but to them. You deserve to be comfortable in your own skin around your lover.
A good listener
If you can’t vent and rage all your frustration out to your partner, why then are you with them? While you shouldn’t fill your relationship with an overflow of negative vibes, we often pass through several phases in life where we can’t control the events around us. Awful things come our way and we need people who will listen to our troubles without complaining or being judgmental. Rather than watching you bottle up your feelings and slowly self-destruct, you deserve a partner who would encourage you to get it all out and then take you in their arms, kissing your forehead, caressing your cheeks, and reassuring you that you’re going to be okay.
A person who adores your weirdness
This doesn’t have to start and end at the beginning of the relationship when you’re still infatuated and you think everything about the person is cute. You deserve someone who will find your crazy side cute all the way up. You love to count your steps while walking, you stiff a new book before you read it and you love to crack other people’s finger and toe joints. This is who you are, and you deserve someone who thinks you’re adorable.
Friendship
True friendship is one of the major driving forces of every relationship. Love and physical intimacy are important, but the longest-lasting relationships are those where the partners are ready to be lifelong friends. We don’t often break up with our beloved friends over small misunderstandings, do we? Finding a best friend and a lover in one person is an amazing feeling everyone deserves. Your partner should be someone you can share everything with and be totally comfortable around them.
A passionate partner
A passionate partner is one who would engulf you with all the affection and love you could ever need. They are eager to make you happy, keep you safe, and listen to all the details about your life. This does not mean they will smother or suffocate you with attention, but when they are around, they are all yours and you are all theirs.
Partners in crime
Your partner should be the yin to your yang, the Clyde to your Bonnie, or the other way round. A relationship should not be as monotonous as single life. It should be fun, adventurous, and lively. You two need to have each other’s back on default and defend one another without prior conversations. If you notice your partner is uncomfortable in a place and doesn’t want to be a show-bummer, make up an excuse so you two could bolt out of there and go someplace better.
Small gestures of kindness and affection
These actions might seem trivial to the rest of the world, but to you, they stoke embers of love deep in your heart. You deserve to get romantic little acts such as bringing you a surprise lunch to your workplace on a busy day, turning up with a cozy ride on a rainy night, holding your hand while you walk in the dark, and kissing you under the sunset. These little things make a relationship stronger and more affectionate, and that’s exactly what you deserve.
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