Penelope Wilson
Penelope Wilson
September 22, 2019 ·  4 min read

A Woman’s Reply to Her Husband Divorcing Her and Eloping with Her Sister

Love can be like a matchstick, quick and intense at first, but burn lower and lower until it finally fizzles out. With adequate care and attention, love can remain alive forever, but without that, you could have a relationship like the couple below.

Divorce is defined as the process of terminating a marriage. This entails the canceling of the legal duties and responsibilities of both partners in a marriage. Divorce laws and procedures vary considerably around the world, but all marriage dissolution processes must be carried out according to the rule of law of their particular state or country.

This practice of dissolving marriages has been on the rise for the last few decades. Currently, there is one divorce every 13 seconds; this is equal to 277 separations per hour, 6,646 per day, 46,523 per week, and 2,419,196 divorces per year.

That is quite a lot of divorces from various issues ranging from cheating spouses, incompatibility, and loss of interest. Statistics show that one of the significant factors that makes people more likely to divorce is age.

People who marry younger are more likely, by 48 percent, to divorce within ten years; this is a high number compared to 25 percent of those who marry after the age of 25. Worse yet, 60 percent of couples who marry between the age of 20–25 will end in divorce. However, those who marry over 25 years old are 24 percent less likely to get divorced. [1]

Divorce should not be confused with an annulment, which declares the original marriage null and void. It also differs from legal separation or de jure separation where a married couple may choose to stay apart from each other while remaining legally married.

Despite its popularity today, some places, however, do not allow divorce, these include the Vatican City, the Philippines, and the British Crown Outpost of Sark. 

Causes of Divorce

Common causes for divorce include sexual incompatibility, lack of love or interest, and a personality clash for one or both spouses. Also, the refusal or inability of one or both partners to perform their duties and obligations that are expected in a marriage may constitute a ground for divorce. Other causes include:

  • Adultery, extramarital sex, and infidelity
  • Domestic violence
  • Midlife crisis
  • Addictions, e.g., alcoholism and gambling
  • Workaholism

When a Divorce Attempt Goes Wrong

Even though divorces and breakups are quite common today, it isn’t every day you get to hear about a breakup and laugh about the absurdity of the situation. However, this was a case of a letter exchange between a husband and wife that showed just how much they were wrong for each other.

First came the letter from the husband who had had enough and was ready to call it quits and elope with his wife’s sister:

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our seven years of marriage and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today and that was just too much to bear any longer.

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand-new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.

Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, it’s over and I am leaving.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Not one to be outshone, the wife responded in kind and was able to deal a few low blows of her own in the process:

Dear Ex-Husband,

Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you and I have been married for the past seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.

I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.

I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven long years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!

This seems like one marriage that won’t make it.

Reference:

  1. Divorce Statistics: Over 115 Studies, Facts And Rates For 2018“, WF-Lawyers.
  2. Options to End Marriage or Domestic Partnership“, California Courts: Judicial Branch of California.