Except for a few exceptions, all human beings are born into one of two sexes, male and female. Both have to come together in marriage to create and raise the next generation. However, marriages take work, commitment, love, and mutual respect to be successful.
From an early age, we are educated on the importance of marriage. We are taught that marriage is a beautiful thing and not to engage in the process of procreation without making a commitment to a significant other.
However, what we are not taught is that marriage can be a rather tricky and sometimes frustrating thing. This union of two different people necessitates a good deal of compromise, sacrifice, and selfless action, especially as the union is supposed to last forever.
Although love may attract you both together, it is never enough since no matter how much you love your spouse they will inevitably irritate you until you’re almost at your breaking point. They may forget your birthday, snore at night, wreck the car, break the fridge, or squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube. [1]
Sometimes, even the little things like forgetting to put off the bathroom light or leaving all the kitchen cabinets open that can cause friction in a marriage. Irrespective of how much your partner annoys you, remembering that no one else has your back as much as they do is enough to make you forgive their little faults.
Remembering the good times, even when all you can see is bad, will ensure that you both move past issues quickly and easily.
Know why you’re getting married
Do you want to have a happy, fulfilling marriage? The secret to a great marriage is knowing what you and your partner want your marriage to be about. Ensuring that you are on the same page will help you prevent a lot of heartaches later on.
Here are the six kinds of marriages we have today.
1. Companionship marriage:
This is the most common kind of marriage nowadays. This kind of marriage is not about having children, passion, or romance, but rather about the couple marrying for friendship, to have someone they can depend on and do things together with. [2]
2. Starter marriage
This type of marriage is made up of couples that want to try out marriage to see what the fuss is about, often without including kids in the relationship.
3. Parenting marriage
This kind of marriage centers around the children. Although the couple may have some romantic bond, their primary goal is to raise kids together and provide an excellent home for them.
4. Autonomous marriage
Also referred to as living alone together marriage, this type of union is reserved for people who need their space, literally. In most cases, each spouse will have their own room or space to themselves, irrespective of whether they are committed to the relationship or not. [3]
5. Open marriage
Also called consensual non-monogamy, open marriages involve spouses that want a stable marriage but not a monogamous one.
6. Safety marriage
We all marry for various reasons; however, if you are marrying for financial security or connections, then you are in a safety marriage.
Achieving a marriage you always dreamed about.
Understanding your reasons for marrying will lead you to the right kind of marriage. This is especially important today, where about 40 to 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. [4]
Your occupation also plays a significant role in the longevity of your marriage. Research shows that certain professions have a higher rate of divorce. The highest include gaming managers (52.9%), bartenders (52.7%), and flight attendants (50.5%). Occupations with the lowest divorce rates include actuaries (17%), physical scientists (18.9%), clergy workers (19.8%), and software developers (20.3%).
Although many wish to marry young, this is another risk factor as couples who wed under the age of 25 have a higher risk of divorce. Worse yet is marrying someone you once had an affair with, as 75% of these marriages end in divorce. [1]
Aside from understanding your reason for marrying and steering clear of any red flags, another secret to a good marriage is trust. Trust keeps a couple together despite their differences as they know they have each other’s backs.
Other important factors for a happy marriage include compatibility, friendship, good sex, and the ability to forgive.
References
- ” Coping With Your Partner’s Annoying Behaviors.” Psychology Today. David Ludden Ph.D. July 22, 2017
- “7 Kinds of Marriages – and One Awesome Alternative.”Psychology Today. Bella DePaulo Ph.D. July 22, 2015.
- ” From Arranged Marriage to Autonomous Marriage: Marriage Liberalization in India, Ancient Rome, United Kingdom and China .” IJHSSNET. International Journal of Humanities and Social Science. January 2016.
- “Marriage & divorce.” APA.