It is sad when someone you know and love suddenly stops loving you. Unrequited love is one of the leading causes of suicides today. [1] But what happens when they have no control over their feelings and they forget that they had ever loved you?
Steve Curto wrote a book with the title But I Know I Love You for his wife, Camre, to mark the fourth anniversary of their wedding. However, what should have been a unique display of love from the 38-year-old from Michigan was instead a necessary action to help Camre, who suffered a stroke during childbirth resulting in memory loss.
Camre cannot remember any details of their 10 year together, her past, or any friends and family members. She suffered some complications during childbirth and had to be placed under a medically induced coma from which she woke up and could remember no one, not even her baby, Gavin.
The first-time mum had to move back in with her parents after leaving the hospital while Steve was left to care for baby Gavin, who was born via C-section. After some time, Camre moved back with her husband and is reading her husband’s book.
“Everything in the book is a memory of what we’ve gone through and what I’ve missed. I enjoy [reading] it very much, but right now with everything it’s kind of mixed feelings,” said Camre. “Sometimes it’s hard for me because it shows me everything that we have been through and that I don’t have inside of me.”
Speaking to reporters about his book, Steve explained, “We were sitting on the couch and she told me, ‘I don’t who you are but I know I love you.’ That has always stuck with me. That has been the driving force behind everything.”
A tragic childbirth
Camre had a relatively smooth pregnancy until the third trimester when she began to vomit frequently. After the 33-weeks mark, she had to be rushed to the hospital after she developed a swollen throat that made breathing difficult.
Upon arrival at the hospital, she went into a grand mal seizure — which causes a lack of consciousness and violent muscle contractions. Doctors were able to perform the C-section and Gavin was born, weighing four pounds. The baby had to be placed in intensive care for 36 days.
It was later found that Camre had suffered a stroke, which affected both sides of her brain in addition to the seizure and resulted in short-term memory loss. She was diagnosed with preeclampsia — a condition characterized by high blood pressure and affecting around six percent of pregnancies. [2]
When left untreated, preeclampsia can lead to severe complications for pregnant women, affecting both them and their babies. It is often caused by reduced blood flow to the fetus, which can lead to organ damage and placental abruption.
Steve explained, “When they brought her out of the coma, and she started to wake up, something wasn’t right.
“She had no idea who she was or that she had just given birth. She didn’t know who I was or who her parents were.
“I basically lived at the hospital. They want the child to bond with the mum after birth but Camre wasn’t able to be there, so I did skin-to-skin with him and did all the feedings.”
Jessica Smith, an occupational therapist at Galaxy Brain and Therapy Center in Ann Arbor, Michigan, stated, “She couldn’t recall memories prior to her brain injury and she can’t remember short-term memories now. What happened to her is extremely rare.”
A hope for the future
While Camre hasn’t fully regained her memories, she now remembers both Steve and Gavin. She is making great strides every day by jotting things down constantly, role-playing conversations over and over, and sharing a calendar on her phone with her husband.
It hasn’t all been easy though. About two years after the incident, Camre suddenly realized that she lost her memory. This was a harrowing experience as Steve explained, “Memories are everything to us, and most people take them for granted. I know I did. That’s one reason I’m sharing the story.” [3]
She has also suffered from severe epileptic fits and seizures and has to continue taking multiple medications. However, Steve is confident that she is going to get her confidence back because she has hope.
“With my husband and son with me, that is what is getting me through all this,” said Camre. “Every time I see Gavin and Steve, there’s a huge smile on my face and inside me. The love of family is what means the most and what is getting me through every day.
“No matter how hard things are or have been and can be, you just have to give yourself hope and keep going, taking each day at a time. I just tell myself everything is going to be okay and I move toward that.”
The heart-wrenching love story, But I Know I Love You has the following dedication: “To Camre, who is the strongest, bravest person I’ve ever known.” [4]
References:
- “Love is number one reason for suicide: expert,” ABS-CBN News. September 2011.
- “Husband Writes Book For Wife Who Lost Her Memory During Childbirth,” Independant. October 2019.
- “Husband Whose Wife Lost Her Memory in Childbirth Writes Book to Help Her Remember Their History,” People Magazine. October 2019.
- “Husband writes book for wife who lost her memory during childbirth,” MSN. October 2019.