Penelope Wilson
Penelope Wilson
June 9, 2020 ·  4 min read

If You Have To Hurt People to Feel Stronger, You’re The Weakest One of All

Bullies bully to feel powerful. This is a fact that most people know is true but often have a hard time accepting it. For instance, in a school environment, kids who bully others are often those dealing with the worst self-esteem issues. They derive a false sense of power and authority when they can make other kids feel small and hurt. Emphasis on “false sense,” because this power high would vanish shortly after and they’d gradually become addicted to chasing it. The only way to keep a steady in-stream would be to continue hurting other children, and their bullying tactics might escalate if they are not stopped early enough.

 Another scenario is with internet trolls who would go the extra mile to make sure a person spirals into self-hatred from their comments. These people hide behind their devices and churn out the most derogatory comments with the sole aim of hurting and breaking someone else. Upon a real-life interaction with these people, you’d often find how deeply troubled they are.

Psychological power battles are never what they appear to be. If you are the type of person who has to push other people’s buttons to hurt or belittle them, then you are extremely weak and any feelings of power and strength you may derive from these actions are only figments of your imagination. There are many ways to feel good about yourself without pulling someone else down. 

Helping people and being genuinely friendly, taking the time to discover your talents and abilities, communicating without being judgmental, and making people feel comfortable around you are some of the countless ways you can grow your personal strengths. On the other hand, stepping on other people’s toes to achieve your goals, using judgmental and shameful words, and reminding them of all the many ways you are better than them just makes you one of the weakest people on earth.

Here are five common ways weak people try to hurt others to feel stronger

1. They are constantly crossing other people’s boundaries

Weak people would often go to extra lengths such as seeking out information about you to know the limits you’ve set for interacting with other people — boundaries you insist should not be crossed. You shouldn’t be surprised if they are constantly trying to overstep these lines and get under your skin. They always aim to stir up your insecurities because they have no respect for other people’s feelings.

2. They can never accept you for who you are

They often do this when you are a far better person than they could ever be, and they just can’t handle the harsh reality. Instead of trying to improve their behavior with you as their inspiration, they’d work to pull you down and make you despise the true image of yourself. They criticize all your actions and decisions and would never stop until you become a reflection of their toxic personalities. [2]

3. They don’t like seeing others succeed

Your success would only remind them of just how capable and competent you are, and this won’t ever sit right with them. They’d do whatever it takes to sabotage your reputation — backbiting, slandering, and sometimes physically altering your work to stall your progress. They feel better about themselves when people are losing. [3]

4. They never let other people in

They don’t want you to see how truly empty and bitter they are on the inside, so they are always closed up and shut off to the rest of the world. You can never tell what they are feeling or thinking at any point in time, and if you do, that’s probably only what they want you to see.

5. They keep pushing your red buttons to hurt you

If they know anything about you that could make you feel sad or small, they’d say it as many times as possible whenever you are around. You can never feel comfortable around them because they are always looking for open wounds to poke and painful strings to pull. 

If you’ve got people in your life or circle who make it a hobby to hurt and degrade you, it’s in your best interest to keep your distance and stay away from them. You should never foster relationships with toxic people because the only thing they want is to rub off on you. They feel better with their toxic personalities when they can get other people to defer to them. Don’t fall prey to their manipulation. You are stronger than they could ever be.

References

  1. The Vicious Cycle Of Hurt People Hurting Others.” AIFC. Max. May 2, 2019.
  2. 4 Signs That Someone Is Probably Insecure.” Psychology Today. Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D. November 17, 2015.
  3. 13 THINGS MENTALLY STRONG PEOPLE DON’T DO.Independent. Business Insider. July 9, 2017.