No one knows what to expect with marriage until they’ve experienced it firsthand. While waiting to get married, just bear one thing in mind: it’s nothing like a fairytale.
It begins quite nicely
You meet someone, and you’re certain that both of you “are perfect for each other, are meant to be together, were brought together by fate, and it’s either them or nothing.” You’ve convinced yourself that you’ve found your one true love and you are meant to spend the rest of your life with them.
You date for a while and eventually decide to get married. After the wedding and honeymoon phase, the reality sets in: You Are Spending the Rest of Your Life with another human being and it’s just a matter of time before you are joined by children.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been living with them before getting married; a couple of years down the line as a married couple is when you begin to truly understand what marriage is all about.
This should give you an idea of what to expect with marriage:
- Marriage is “adulting” with another person. It could mean your husband or wife complains about your impulsive spending attitude, and you complain about their excessively prudent ways. That is when you realize that handling money is not child’s play. [1]
- Marriage is fighting with the urge to scream “I told you so” when your partner slips and falls right after you told them walk across the wet floor.
- Marriage is accepting that you might not always be right and that things might not always be logical. Sometimes, you choose to accept the other option irrespective of what you think it should be.
- Marriage is a lot of sleepless nights, sick kids, pregnant wives with cravings, and listening to your partner’s loud snores. Whatever the reason, you’re not allowed to pull the covers over your head and sleep through it.
- On the topic of covers, marriage is waking up without them. And what’s worse? You can’t get mad about that. ‘Waking up with the covers wrapped around Jeff’s feet’ is bound to become a joke at the dinner table soon.
- Marriage is making super awkward jokes, the type that deserves the sound of crickets chirping, but instead having someone laugh hard about it; it’s kind of an unspoken rule, you must laugh at your husband’s jokes. [2]
- So you’re a perfectionist? Marriage is sometimes having to accept that it’s okay to not be perfect all the time. At the end of the day, marriage will lead you to make several sacrifices and concessions, and accept the things you ordinarily would not have accepted.
- Marriage is hating all the people your partner hates even when you don’t need to. All you need is for your partner to say is, “I don’t like Susan” and Susan automatically becomes your sworn enemy.
- Marriage is wanting to watch a show with your partner only to find out that they are two episodes ahead of you. Yeah, no one has time to wait around till you’re ready for movie night, all you can do at the moment is to start from where they stopped and let them fill in the blanks for you.
- With marriage, fights are only ever just that, fights. You can’t take a few weeks off to be mad; they are not break-or-makeup moments. It seems only natural that you fight a lot but you still sleep side-by-side after having said goodnight to each other. [3]
- Marriage is turning into that annoying person on Facebook who posts 50 pictures about their “cute married lives.” From photos with captions that detail how your husband likes to remove the peas from his food every time, to all the photos of your baby’s butt, and close-up photos of your toddler’s chubby little cheeks.
- Marriage is having to spend the rest of your life with someone, but still needing some time alone. If you don’t get some me time when married, you’ll certainly go crazy. Weekend trips with your friends are a lot of fun and you will be sure to look forward to them.
- Marriage is loving someone even when you hate them. Sometimes in extreme cases, they will make you so mad that you will end up asking yourself if marrying them was a mistake. You might even think about throwing them off a balcony but of course these thoughts never go very far. It’s simply a coping mechanism and sooner or later they’re going to do that endearing thing they do, and you can’t possibly stay mad at them.
Marriage is a rollercoaster of emotions. It isn’t always pretty, but it certainly is a beautiful institution. There are other things you need to bear in mind when it comes to marriage such as:
- For it to be successful, your goal should be lifetime companionship. Do not set ridiculous standards based on watching fairy tales. Marriage is not a Disney cartoon… it is far from that.
- You need to take a break from chasing money and other goals and look back on how far you’ve come. Appreciate the goals you’ve already achieved and celebrate your accomplishments together.
- Keep the spark alive, switch things up, go on dates, hang out with each other, just soak up each other’s presence, and you’ll be sure to enjoy your marriage. [4]
And there you have it, all the ways marriage can be crazy. That being said, it doesn’t matter if you wake up every night with cold toes digging into your back; those kinds of pet peeves might end up being what you find cutest about your partner.
Rest assured, with marriage you have a best friend for life who you can never drift apart from.
References
- “I Love My Husband More Than Ever, But Damn, Being a Newlywed Was Hard.” Pop Sugar. Lacey Johnson. December 11, 2019.
- “What Marriage Is Really Like.” Scary Mommy. Joelle Wisler. Accessed January 13, 2020.
- “5 Truths About Marriage.” Psychology Today. Suzanne Degges-White. October 18, 2014.
- “15 relationship facts everybody should know before getting married.” Business Insider. Shana Lebowitz. July 27, 2016.