It’s almost as if the meaning of true love and all it entails changes from generation to generation. What Baby Boomers consider romance doesn’t work for millennials and let’s be honest, generation Z literally has the weirdest ideas. Everyone’s just doing what suits their time and age and in the end, love is still hugely individual. This is why many relationships don’t last long as a result of incompatibility — when two people simply can’t get their attitudes to align or find a middle ground for their beliefs and interests. There’s no way to make things work because the affection is not strong enough to drive the relationship alone.
For ladies, finding that special man can be pretty difficult and frustrating, especially when you are eager to have kids and time is not really on your side anymore. Nature made it that way, unfairly, and there’s really nothing we can do about it. However, you don’t have to eagerly jump into a whack-a-mole relationship just because time is sneaking up on you.
You want something real, beautiful, genuine, and remarkable, and sister, you deserve it. Love shouldn’t have to be a painful chore. If you find someone who checks most of your boxes, don’t go the romance-novel way by checking if he “feels a spark” for you. If you are attracted to him, you can make him fall genuinely in love with you. This doesn’t mean you’ll have to do all the work or put in all the effort, but you can set things in motion. “Love at first sight” is often misconceived infatuation, and true love actually buds and grows over time. Many relationship experts have done their research, and below are 10 surefire ways of getting that good man to fall in love with you.
Be yourself
One of the easiest ways to remain single for a long time is to keep pretending to be someone else. The best person you can be is the one you’ve always been – YOU. Stop trying to fit into another person’s style or copy their behavior because you are convinced it will help you get a guy faster. Being real is super-attractive and that’s what anyone with half a mind really wants to see. You can only keep up a façade for so long until the pressure builds up and everything crashes.
According to clinical psychologist Merry Lin, “Faking your way through life is believing that if you let people know the real you, they won’t like you. The tapes that play in your head say that if people really knew what was going on inside you, they would lose respect for you. While you play those roles, juggling those masks you have to wear and hiding your pain … the pressure increases to keep pretending you have it all together.”
You deserve to live a life devoid of the pressure of being fake, so always stay true to yourself.
Have a good attitude
Even though it’s best to stay true to yourself, you should still try to improve on our bad attitudes. Everyone has these because no one is perfect, but we can always try to keep working on them to be the best versions of ourselves.
According to wellness coach and author Susan Biali, “Plus, by taking care of what you need to in your own life, you bring a more positive attitude back into the relationship. The other person will start to treat you differently—without you having done anything other than shifting your energy into your own life.”
Be a good listener
Great communication isn’t merely about knowing the right things to say or how to keep a conversation lively and interesting. These are important, but being a good listener bears equal weight in the balance of your relationship. Every guy wants a woman who listens and genuinely absorbs his tales, troubles, joys, and stories. Having a partner who is eager to hear you talk is a really wonderful thing.
According to writer Irma Kurtz, “No matter how bad things are, give your partner a chance to speak. We tend to jump in with an opinion before we’ve heard each other out. Don’t scream, keep your cool: it makes a big difference. So often, things can be resolved by learning to listen.”
Sis, flirt
Ladies are often told not to be too forthcoming with their interests in a guy because men can easily take advantage of perceived eagerness. However, sister, how will he know you’re interested if you don’t give some obvious green lights? Flirt a little or aggressively — whichever works for you. Let him know you like him, you want him, and you’re ready to make things work. Despite what people think, guys are really attracted to bold girls who are not afraid to make their intentions known.
Be unique
Everyone wants a break from the usual and ordinary. A guy will be more likely to fall in love with you if you’re different from everyone else. There should be something unique about you that is not a hidden quality. Sometimes, it may seem like guys in a certain age bracket are usually chasing after the same type of girl, but no one can resist a dash of attractive uniqueness. It makes everything worth the chase.
Get physical
The sense of touch is extremely powerful in romantic matters. Something as simple as a tap on his cheek with your index finger or an unexpected bear hug can effectively communicate your inclinations to him. Guys love it when women aren’t afraid of getting physical, and if you are up for it, initiate that kiss and get the dice rolling.
“Many times people become increasingly shy with the person they love the more time goes by. Keep your ‘sex esteem’ alive by keeping up certain practices on a regular basis. This allows you to remain vibrant, sexy, and engaged in your love life,” says sex therapist Sari Cooper, LCSW.
Let him do a lot of the chasing
No matter how advanced we are as humans, our primal inclinations will always come out to play. Men derive a sense of power and confidence from doing the chasing, so let him call you and fix the dates now and then. Let him feel as though he’s winning you over and not the other way round. He may love that you set the spark at first, but he still wants to be “the man”.
Don’t be pushy
Desperation is a red flag for so many people. He may doubt your true intentions for love if you are acting like there’s virtually no time left to date and get married. Let things flow naturally. Don’t push him to meet up with your friends or speak to your mom over the phone. No one likes being made to feel cornered or coerced. Love should flow naturally.
Make eye contact
The eyes are truly the windows to the soul, and they do a lot more talking than you could imagine. You could say a thousand words through your eyes without opening your mouth. Eye language is really important and when you hold someone’s gaze, it’s easy for them to understand how genuine or false your words are.
Be trustworthy
The biggest flex in a relationship is a partner you can completely trust. Everyone wants someone they can open up to with all of their insecurities, dirty secrets, other secrets, and be confident that no one else will learn about these. We all want someone we can trust to be faithful to us no matter the circumstances. We want a person we can leave everything we own in their custody and not bat an eyelid. Trust is amazing comfort and if you prove to be a trustworthy person, you’d have him falling all over you in no time.
According to love and marriage experts Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz, “Trust is not something all loving relationships start with… But one thing is for sure; happy and successful marriages and relationships survive and thrive on the basis of this trust. Trust is so pervasive in their relationship that they never give it a second thought. They expect it. It’s always there. It is part of the fabric of their relationship.”
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