The death of a mother is painful and devastating. A mother is the one who cares and nurtures a child throughout childhood, staying at home more often than the father in most cases. Losing a mother is hard, but it is exceptionally traumatic when one does not get the opportunity to say a proper goodbye. For the Rutter family, who lost their mother to COVID-19, the hardest part was saying goodbye through a walkie-talkie that was propped against her pillow. There were no hugs, no kisses, and no holding of hands.
“She was a wonderful person.”
Sundee Rutter, the 42-year-old mother of six, was on the verge of being certified cancer-free when she developed a fever. She thought she had the flu and visited the hospital where she was treated and sent home.
Four days later, the fever came back, this time accompanied by respiratory problems. Ross Rutter, her son, brought her to Providence Regional Medical Center, where she was examined and eventually diagnosed with the coronavirus. [1]
Until some days before her death, Rutter and her kids often chatted, with her reassuring them that she was doing better. But her replies soon became heart emojis only, sending off signals that all may not be fine. On the 16th of March, doctors asked her family to come to the hospital. As all of her children looked through her hospital room via a small glass window, they didn’t hesitate to tell how much they loved her, seeing that she was losing the fight to the virus and every minute counted. Her fourth-oldest child, Ross Rutter, kept reassuring her that the younger kids were in safe hands and will be cared for.
Just as she battled cancer, Rutter fought valiantly for her life, but the virus was just too strong, overpowering her already-compromised immune system. The same afternoon after the kids said their goodbyes, Rutter passed on.
Her best friend, Jessica Harris, is yet to come to terms with the death. According to her, Sundee “was a wonderful person, and there’s not many like her out there anymore. Great friend, great mother, great wife, she was a wonderful person. We’re pretty devastated, she beat cancer and lost the battle to Coronavirus? It’s just crazy.” [2]
The children have had a hard time understanding the source of infection since only a few people had the virus at the time. Speaking on his mum’s personality, Ross Rutter has described her as a positive person who remained resilient through the many challenges life has thrown her way. He adds that she was big on giving and lending a hand to those in need.
“She was a supermom, you know.”
This devastating loss of their only parent has seen people from all over the country show their support to Rutter and her children, with donations of $300,000. According to Ross Rutter: “It’s crazy how much love and support we’ve been receiving from the community. It kind of goes to show how big of an impact my mom had on our community. She was a supermom, you know.” [3]
Tyree Rutter, 24, the oldest child, plans to use the funds donated to buy a house for him and his siblings as he completes his final year at Central Washington University.
No final goodbyes
As heartbreaking as the story is, Rutter is just one of many who have been buried without the presence of family. While experts have determined that the virus cannot be transmitted after a person dies, it can survive on the victim’s clothing for a few hours. This has left them with no option than to seal the corpses immediately.
In Italy, families of victims have to rely on funeral services that drive the coffin to a church and have priests perform a blessing. This is usually concluded in a few minutes, without the body being removed from the car. After this, the coffin is buried in complete silence. [4]
Together, we can
At this pivotal time, it is pertinent for everyone to work collectively to flatten the curve and stop the spread of the disease. Short of a miracle, the only option that will bring a halt to the spread of the COVID-19 virus is by starving it. Since the microorganism relies on human bodies to host and spread it, observing social distancing and proper hygienic rules will limit the virus access to us. If we are to navigate this phase successfully, everyone needs to play their part. [5]
Keep in touch with those that matter
While social distancing should be done correctly, keeping in touch with our loved ones is also essential. Thankfully, technology has provided a way to do this without any physical meeting. Talk to your relatives and friends via FaceTime or any other video app. Ensure the elderly have plenty of medical supplies and food on hand while taking the necessary precautions. Reassure them constantly. Their emotional needs matter, as well.
Together we can, and we will beat this virus.
References
- “Before a Washington mother died of coronavirus, her six children used a walkie-talkie to say goodbye.” CNN. Jason Hanna. Accessed April 2, 2020.
- “Mom of 6 who survived breast cancer dies from COVID-19 in Snohomish Co.” KOMO NEWS. Carleen Johnson. Accessed April 2, 2020.
- “Family uses walkie-talkie to say goodbye to mom dying of coronavirus.” Global News. Meaghan Wray. Accessed April 2, 2020.
- “Italy’s Coronavirus Victims Face Death Alone, With Funerals Postponed.” NY Times. Jason Horowitz and Emma Bubola. Accessed April 2, 2020.
- “Social distancing crucial to stop spread of COVID-19.” WHSV. Hannah Hall. Accessed April 2, 2020.