Mature relationships are built on mutual trust, respect, and of course, love. They are two people sharing their lives together while also giving each other enough space to develop and grow. The relationship is not perfect, but each person is willing to put the work in to keep it going strong.
Immature relationships, on the other hand, often lack communication, the two people involved act selfishly, and usually there are problems right from the start.
Knowing the difference between mature and immature relationships can help you identify if you are your significant other are vibing or totally off-base.
8 Differences Between Immature and Mature Relationships
1. Missing Parts
In an immature relationship, there always seems to be at least one thing missing. Whether it’s trust, compatibility, actual friendship, respect, or a combination of those things, the relationship is stunted and unable to progress without them.
While a mature relationship may not always be completely perfect, they have the right foundation to build from. Each person understands the other’s needs and they work together to ensure those are met.
2. Conflict Resolution
Immature relationships often are seemingly perfect from the start, with absolutely zero disagreements. Often this can mean one or both parties are withholding parts of themselves or their true opinions in an attempt to avoid conflict. Eventually, however, these will come to light, and the two will be unable to resolve them. In another case, they may just begin growing distant from each other, because they can’t get to know each other on a deeper level.
While a mature relationship doesn’t necessarily last forever, at the very least the couple aren’t afraid of conflict, but instead are able to talk about their differences in a diplomatic way. They attempt to work through conflict together, and if they decide that the issue is unsurmountable, they part ways with respect intact.
3. Moves Too Quickly
A relationship that is all about reaching certain milestones as quickly as possible is often going so fast it runs off the track. In an immature relationship they often are quick to move in together, meet each other’s families, maybe even get married before they have actually taken the appropriate time to get to know one another.
Mature relationships are not in a rush. They love and respect each other and let things unfold on their own timeline, taking the time to enjoy each stage of the relationship. When it feels right and they are both ready, they will take the next step.
4. Asking Destructive Questions
Often out of their own insecurities and inner conflicts, questions such as “Is she faithful?”, “Does he really love me?” or “How long will we be together for?” run through each person’s mind. When voiced to the other person, it puts a lot of pressure on them. That kind of pressure early on in a relationship can cause panic and the whole thing unravels as quickly as it started.
Mature relationships don’t put any pressure on the situation too early. Instead they enjoy the process of getting to know one another and are mindful of signs that might be they are not compatible.
5. Fighting From Far Away
Big arguments that need settling should never be done over text, phone, or video chat. Immature relationships often rely on these means of communication to express discontent with their partner.
Couples in mature relationships understand that important issues need to be discussed in-person to avoid their words or tone being misconstrued.
A tell-tale sign of an immature relationship is one where there is lying and cheating going on. This happens because either one or both people don’t actually respect each other.
Respect for one another is at the core of a mature relationship. Even if one of the parties is no longer happy with that person, they respect them enough to be honest and end things with their partner before moving on to the next.
When both parties trust each other, there is no reason to be insecure in the relationship. Without trust, one or both parties will begin to question themselves and their significant other. “Am I good enough for them?” “Are they still in love with their ex?” These questions eventually cause the relationship to implode.
Mature relationships are confident in the commitment of the other person. They don’t worry about what they’re doing when they aren’t together, because they know that the pair respect and care about each other enough to make the right choices.
8. Focusing On the Past
Everyone makes mistakes or decisions they regret throughout their life. Nearly all of us have been hurt by someone in the past. In immature relationships, that past gets dragged in with them. Their past hurt either gets put on their next partner, or their partner learns of their past and allows that to get in the way of their future.
Mature relationships understand that their new partner is not their past partner. Each person knows that mistakes get made, but allows their significant other to show what they’ve learned and how they’ve grown since then.
If you notice signs that your own relationship may be an immature one, take some time to figure out why. Is it you, them, or both of you? If you can work it out, wonderful. If not, it’s best for both of you to move on.