Penelope Wilson
Penelope Wilson
September 22, 2023 ·  4 min read

Why Losing Friends Can Be a Blessing in Disguise

You don’t have to understand or accept it at first. Sometimes, we make decisions that we know are good for us, but we may not immediately feel the positive impact.

We might have spent our entire childhood and teenage years accumulating friends, and for some people, they might just have a few. As we move in and out of the phases of life, people change. True characters become more apparent and we are forced to decide who we really want to have a place in our lives.

There may be certain people in your life inadvertently impeding your progress and blessings. Toxic and narcissistic friends can cause a real decline in your mental health. You know that it’s time for you to cut these people off, but your sentiments are blinding you to the truth. No matter how much someone hurts you, if there was ever a time they loved and cared about you, it can be really difficult to let them go. Simply put, losing people sucks. 

However, no matter how hurtful and disappointing it is, losing certain friends can be a blessing in disguise. You begin to notice a positive transformation in your life when you no longer identify with certain people. It’s not always immediate, but it would happen all the same.

True straight lies in quality, not quantity

Numbers can be awfully deceptive sometimes. You may have 50 ‘friends’ but only three would respond when you’re in dire need of help. Your phone is brimming with contacts of people you regard as friends, but you can only call about five of them when you need to share some good news. 

Having so many people in your life who couldn’t be less bothered about you can be quite confusing. You care about these people, you check up on them and try to maintain solid relationships, but the affection is one-sided. You’re tricking yourself into believing you’re surrounded by love when a lot of it is only coming from you. In the end, if you find only one person that truly cares about you and wants to be a part of your life, don’t be afraid to cut off all the others who don’t actually care. 

You don’t need so many friends who would make feeble pillars of support. Five trustworthy and loving friends would trump over a million uninterested people any day.

Our priorities change as we get older

We can’t remain in the clubbing, shopping, and hanging-out phase for the rest of lives. However, we all move at different paces, and it becomes difficult to keep up with one another. Everyone would want to go in different directions but the truest friends are the ones who respect one another’s decision. We get carried away by family, work, adventures, and even mindless fun. It’s your life and you can do whatever you want with it, but if there are people around you who bring a negative influence on your dreams, you’d have to let them go.

It would hurt at first, but you would begin to see things that your sentiments had initially blinded you. You were so focused on trying to make things work out with these people that you may have missed out on quite a few opportunities. You didn’t want to be the one who spoiled the circle of friendship or broke the cycle of fun, but your dreams should be your top priority and if there are people selfishly preventing you from reaching them, they’d have to go.

It’s okay to “mourn the loss” of friendships, but time heals all wounds

Don’t try to force yourself to forget the people you’ve cut off. In my experience, it’s nearly impossible to forget someone you once loved. Don’t hate them because it will make their memory difficult to live with. Don’t try to find flaws in their character to turn your mind against them. If you want to find peace, you’ll have to forgive them. Even though they are no longer a part of your life, internally forgive all their excesses and carry on with your life. It would get easier with each new day.

Observe the happenings in your life from then on. There will be new things you never expected coming your way since you’ve gotten rid of people who were standing in the way of your progress. You’d find yourself doing the things you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t know how your so-called friends would react to them. You’d take more opportunities and explore more freely, and you’d learn to be grateful for the friends you have left — the ones who have proven to be solid fountains of support.

In the end, you’d discover that you never truly lose what is meant for you, and you’re only wasting valuable time trying to keep unproductive friendships alive.

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