Are you at that age when you feel as if all eyes are on you to send out wedding invites and start popping ‘em babies out one after the other? Is the pressure from your parents mounting to bring home someone? Are your friends giving you weird looks when you talk about how much you don’t care for marriage? You might have been in a long-term relationship and everyone is wondering what is keeping you from tying the knot. Is it all starting to get to you?
Don’t get me wrong. Marriage is a beautiful thing if it’s what you really want. We can’t deny the truth that it’s a necessary social construct. If not for anything else, at least for the sake of procreation. However, it’s not compulsory and it’s certainly not for everyone. Society has purported the idea of marriage as the ultimate achievement for everyone, excluding clergy who are sworn to celibacy. Recent research shows that single people are a lot happier than most married couples, despite the propagated image of lonely people dying alone on porches. [1] They get to live more happily, more freely, and without any obligations or hassles.
A study from the National Marriage Project revealed that more young adults are putting off marriage until they’ve achieved their most important professional and life goals. [2] Also, the older generation seems to be taking the cue. Reports from the U.S. Census shows that the number of couples above the age of 50 who are just living together increased by 1.6 million in 10 years. [3]
Marriage is great, but being single is also great. Here are 7 valid reasons why getting married might be the best decision for you.
You don’t need a ceremony and a certificate to prove your love
Marriage is often described as a celebration or commemoration of the love between two people. However, you don’t need to host a ceremony and sign some papers to make things real. If you love someone and they love you back, you can both ride out the waves of life together without feeling the need to sign something. You can even get heart stones or rings to celebrate your love in your own way.
It puts exhausting pressures on your union
So many people are in unhappy marriages today because they are trying to live up to some expectation by avoiding divorce. People are enduring violence, abuse and all forms of mental torture just to “save” their marriage. If you were in a normal relationship, you could just walk away without looking back if things become too unbearable for you.
Weddings are too expensive
Let’s face it. We often hear older people say, “You don’t have to spend so much on a wedding. Love is all you need.” Yeah, right. In nearly every part of the world, weddings are impossibly expensive to organize. In the U.S., a “small” wedding could come up to about $20,000 on a rough estimate. People who want to go all out could budget $50,000 and still not be satisfied. You often see people swimming in debt for years after their weddings. Parents would exhaust all their life savings to give their children their dream weddings. These funds could have been saved for a rainy day or invested for good returns, but they will get blown away on “the most special day of a person’s life.”
Divorces aren’t cheap either
Say hello to outrageous legal fees, endless alimony, and child support. Divorce doesn’t just drain you financially, it also leaves mental and emotional strains on your wellbeing. You spend so much getting married to someone, only to spend the same amount to be separated from them. You’d also be stuck paying fees for the rest of your life, even after you’ve moved on.
You can do whatever you want without restrictions
Not everyone has the vision to spend their lives in a home with a white-picket fence and barbecue-loving neighbors. Some people want to travel the globe, to see the world and soak up as many adventures as they can before old age sneaks up on them. It’s like a thirst they cannot quench and being married to someone who doesn’t have the same vision could be quite disheartening. Also, having children might not be on our wish list and your partner would want to get started right after the wedding. It kind of makes it all seem very unappealing.
You don’t have to make drastic changes to your life
Marriage comes with a lot of sacrifices that you may not be willing to make. You’d have to check the way you act, live and cohabit with another person. You can’t just go living as wild and free as you always have, especially when kids start coming. You may have to take on another person’s name and not everyone is okay with losing their identity. Your individuality somehow becomes merged with another person’s, and you need to be ready to compromise on a lot of issues.
In summary, marriage is beautiful and necessary, but it just isn’t for everyone. You don’t need to get stressed or upset because you are not feeling the whole idea. You can live your life however you desire because in truth, you only live once.
References
- “Women are happier without children or a spouse, says happiness expert. The Guardian. Sian Cain. Retrieved August 4, 2020.
- “EMBARGOED UNTIL 12:01 A.M., MARCH 15.” National Marriage Project. Skip Burzumato. Retrieved August 4, 2020.
- “Welcoming Love at an Older Age, but Not Necessarily Marriage.” NY Times. Stanley Luxenberg. Retrieved August 4, 2020.